Tag: life

Posted in Life

Life Has a Funny Way of Working Out…

Posted on by jennrae

I haven’t added any new posts lately, and I wanted to start the new year off with an optimistic message. I am feeling good, and I think New Year’s symbolizes for many of us a fresh start, or a reset on our lives, a reevaluation of what and how we are doing. I know it has been for me. I think this past year I got caught up in trying too hard to make things work out how I wanted them to, instead of just letting things work themselves out how they are meant to be.

Life can be short, long, or inbetween. But, either way life has a funny way of working out. Sometimes it is unexpected. Sometimes not. But, whatever happens, happens. You can only control so much, so focus on the things that you can change, and allow the greater changes to enfold in the ways they will. I think I wasted a lot of energy in futility, because I was stubborn, and a hopeless romantic. I am still a romantic, but now I have some hope. The future is bright, I just went through a tunnel. The light at the end of it shines as bright as ever.

Life is what you make of it, and I know I have made it harder on myself in some ways, not always made the best decisions or thought things through enough. But, the past is the past, and I think it is important to give the present and the future its due. The past cannot be changed. Only the future, and it isn’t up to a mystical fate. It is up to each of us to create our fate. If there is something you want to do before you die, get on it! There is no time like the present. I am going to try to do some writing everyday. It helps me reach my equilibrium, when my equilibrium  is off, everything seems to fall apart, when I feel balanced, things seem tranquil. So I am going to take the time to find myself, and my destiny. I can’t know the future, and I can’t control what happens outside of my immediate influence. But, I can choose how I react to it, and I can make choices that will determine it in the long run.

On that note, I would like to wish everyone a very happy New Year, and take care of your loved ones, and the people in your lives. It is the memories of the holidays that children remember the most, so make them happy times. That is also a choice. 🙂

Posted in Life

Those Starving Kids in China…and Other Tales of Woe

Posted on by jennrae

Sometimes it is easy for me to fall into that old trap of wanting what I can’t have and kicking myself when I’m down. Two bad days in a row makes it seem like life is terrible. But, I feel it is important to take the time to stop, breathe, and remember that two days doesn’t make up a person’s lifetime,and two bad days back to back mean nothing except you had two bad days back to back. I think us humans have a tendency to reach for meaning where there isn’t always meaning to be found. Sometimes it is what it appears, and sometimes not, so best to not jump to conclusions.

Anyway, about those starving kids in China. I remember always being told at dinner time to eat all the food on my plate because there were starving kids in China. Maybe China was a safe choice, far away enough to not have it be real, but a real country, so still plausible? Either way, I sometimes struggled to clean my plate. I would be up there at the table sometimes for over an hour. I tend to eat slow, and I eat slower still when I am full, but I was always told not to waste food. It became a problem until one day, I insisted on dishing out my own portions. I lost a lot of weight after doing that too, my mom meant well, but basically she was forcing me to overeat and telling me to do what I was told, didn’t seem to actually figure out that there was a problem with a simple solution.

To this day, I hate wasting food, it feels wrong to me. And, I don’t think waste is good.  But, neither is feeling sick because you ate too much. I guess what my rambling point is, that we don’t always see how good we have it, and we don’t always see the full picture of what’s going on. Sometimes what looks like an insurmountable problem actually has a simple solution. Don’t want your kid to waste food on their plate? Dish up smaller portions, if they are still hungry, they can go back for seconds.  Can’t seem to save money, find a way to set aside money without having to think about it. Don’t like your life right now, try to figure out what you don’t like, and do something about it. (I am still working on this one, sometimes inertia is so much easier than forcing yourself to be proactive.)

We as people often use tales of woe, or saying someone else has it worse off to make ourselves feel better. I say, if it works, go for it! If you need to think on those starving kids to eat your spinach, then picture them in all their bulging eye, rib showing glory.

Different things motivate different people. I actually get more motivated when I feel good. If I feel like I’m on a roll, and the good things keep coming, it is like a high. If I am being badgered, ordered about, reminded daily of my faults and short comings, than, I tend to do the whole fall flat on my face failure plus self fulfilling prophecy bit. The trick that I am trying to learn is to channel and store that good feeling and try to summon it up during the bad times, like my own energy source.

And, to try and take a moment and remember that people are comprised partly on the events that have happened to them throughout their day. Do not give people the power to control your moods, up or down. If you depend on someone to make you feel good, or let someone make you feel bad, you are giving them way too much power over your self-worth.  Besides, even well-meaning people let others down from time to time. If you aren’t emotionally dependent on them, than it isn’t the end of the world when this happens. (I’m still working on this as well, easier said than done!)

In closing, there are starving children somewhere, some not as far away as China, some further, and there are horrible accidents, diseases and disasters being brought to our attention via television everyday. But, in the end, to prevent useless anxiety, it really serves no purpose to worry about the things beyond your control. Find your peace within, and your life won’t seem too bad. It isn’t going to be paradise on earth everyday either, that just isn’t natural, but, nothing is unsalvageable.  🙂

Posted in Life, Writing

Life is too short…and other Overused Phrases of Mine

Posted on by jennrae

I was debating putting this in the writing category, since it does touch on that. But, I think I will keep it in both writing and life. Because, it touches on that too. Have you noticed sometimes people have catch phrases or words they tend to say over and over? Worst case scenario is valley girl speak, where the word “like” is like, put in as every other word, like that makes any sense, you know, like because it is cool, and totally, like, unnecessary…like…shoot me now..figuratively, not literally, please!

That is the worst case scenario. I find myself saying “Anyways, or anyhow” as my filler words of choice. I will often begin a sentence with either of these, even when I am not changing the subject, which is what the words are for. I think it is just how I talk, so it translates into my writing. I have decided to attempt to cut back on “anyways or anyhow.” Wish me luck, as I have wrote about before, if you have been doing a habit for a long time, it makes it very difficult to break. However, if I am going to write how I talk, then I should try to use a more varied vocabulary, because, if like follows form (there’s that pesky like word again.) it should also translate into my writing. Complete craziness? Or do you think this will work?

Now, on to Life is too Short….this is what I tend to say when I don’t know what else to say, when someone tells me their life story/problem and they seem to be working up the anxiety, and I really don’t even understand why they are doing this. I just say Life is too short. They think about it, and go, you know, you’re right. I won’t worry about whether I am going to go on vacation to Alaska or Hawaii, or whether I am going to have tea with honey or tea with sugar…because it doesn’t matter.  Life is too short works. If someone is going on and on about boy/girl trouble. And, you aren’t sure if you can say something comforting, tell them life is too short. They will respond, “You’re so right. I shouldn’t dwell on so and so, life is too short, I have to focus on me.” (this worked on me, actually, don’t know who said it, but, no matter what the situation, the other person somehow gets the answer they need from it.)

Now, there are situations where I would not use it…if someone has experienced a tragic loss…Life is too short, is completely, completely inappropriate. The person knows, and is painfully aware just how short it can be. In fact, this situation is the most awkward for me, because there isn’t a right thing to say. So, keep it simple. If it is in a business/acquaintance type situation, a simple im sorry for your loss, or my condolences will work. if it is a close friend , or family member…sometimes a nice hug is the best form of communication. Don’t say anything, just hug that person, let them cry on your shoulder. That is the best response.

Now, to tie those two things together…I now find myself “defaulting” to life is too short whenever I worry or think about anything too much. And, again, ruins the whole varied vocabulary ideal. Life may be too short, but there has to be other ways to say it, or imply it. Just because you can use it for a lot of situations doesn’t mean you should. Something to think about…

Posted in Life

Good Times

Posted on by jennrae

So I have been blessed to have a week of paid time off, and alot of time to think about things and read bad advice online about love and life. Now, it is kinda mean to say it is bad advice. But the thing about any advice, is that it is bad if it isn’t tailored to the needs of the person on the receiving end. So, when you read stuff online you get contradictory answers and a lot of people wanting  you (Well, me in this case.) to shell out 40 plus bucks to learn their secrets. Secrets like how to be happy, and how to be successful, how to make a bunch of money, how to win and keep the love of your life, to do everything and anything from becoming closer to God, to finding out what you really want (okay, an ebook will tell you how to do that?? Is the author privy to your inner workings and thoughts, experiences? Didn’t think so. )

So that’s what I mean by bad advice, not that it will kill you, or that it means harm, but, it doesn’t really help you because while well meaning, it can’t be fully applied to your problem/situation. Except in a general sense. And, I have found alot of the “advice” are from writers like me, who are just putting out their opinions/thoughts on the subject and aren’t really anymore qualified and aren’t anymore informed than anyone else. I have found the way to learning for me, is the hard way. In other words, by making mistakes and stumbling around, and then learning okay, I won’t do THAT again.  You can’t read or research actual experience. You have to get out there and let it happen. So, that is what I think I will do. I will DO. Actions speak louder than words, and actions lead to results. Not thinking, not talking, not reading. Doing. Good old fashioned doing.

So…want to read my opinion on how to be happy? Lead a fulfilling life, filled with interesting people. Be interesting. If you find yourself boring, so will others. Do something you enjoy. Don’t talk about someday, what if, maybe, if the stars align at this moment in this year, as Nike says, JUST DO IT! Be happy. I read somewhere that happiness is a choice. ( I know, I read somewhere, didn’t I just say to not read….wait..are you reading this???) I am starting to believe, no, I am starting to know, this is the case.

You can choose to see what you don’t have, what you don’t like, people you don’t like. Or, you can choose to see what you do have, what you do enjoy, surround yourself with people you do like.  Life doesn’t have to be complicated. Sometimes I think the internet has overcomplicated things by allowing introverts like myself to remain introverted. It is hard to get out there, and I am still struggling with it, and the internet makes it so easy to sit back and let things pass you by. You can refresh facebook and read interesting links, or you can get out there and do things, that make it so you have something interesting TO link. Which would you rather do?

Posted in Life

Welcome to my life…what I am willing to share anyway :)

Posted on by jennrae

in jail

The past few years I have begun to realize sometimes my life reads like a badly written soap opera. Very badly written, as cliche as they come. Minus the evil twins and plane crashes and people thought to be dead reentering the small town I dwell in. (Although, that last part might make for a good story, hmm…)

Sometimes I have felt trapped, always seeming like if I am getting anywhere, magically I end up back at square one. I have started to realize that what I consider important in life, really important, doesn’t revolve around success, or a college degree, or even lots of money. I would just simply like to find true love, and meet the man of my dreams, and live happily ever after, into the sunset, Oh wait, did I say something about things being cliche? Oops. Okay, maybe I would be willing to settle for a good guy who is willing to love me back, forget the riding into the sunset nonsense, as I think I am old and wise enough to know that things are cyclical. Nothing stops at happily ever after, things go up and down until you die, or as many believe, even after you die. I could speculate on life after death, but, I think I will save that for another day. As, the only way to verify that conjecture, well, would be to have a near death experience, and while it might tentatively be on the to-do list, it certainly isn’t something I wish to experience anytime soon. …

Okay, end of that tangent. The reason love is on my mind is because I am trying to fall out of love, and it is harder than it sounds.  It is hard to explain, but sometimes when you can’t have something, that is the only thing you want. Or if you are told, now don’t tell so and so about the ending of that M. Night Shyamalan movie…and, you do. Because now it is on your mind. and you know you were told not to tell, but somehow it slips out, because you were told not to tell? Does that make sense?

So, knowing that it didn’t work out, and it is over, is one thing, but giving up the feelings, nearly impossible. If I stay away, and don’t talk to him, message him, text him, call him, find a sad excuse to contact him in any way, shape or form, I will get over it. It is just the hardest thing to do right now, because I know, I need to do it.  *sigh*