Posted in Life

OCD and is that grass really greener over there? or is that a big pile of dog poo?

Inspiration just hit me, so I felt compelled to write this down. In fact, this particular entry is about compulsion. I was thinking to myself, as I was attempting to fall asleep, how so manypeople, myself included, get caught up in the grass is greener syndrome. I should totally make a post completely devoted to that concept. But instead of doing that, my brain went on a tangent. ( You will notice that this will happen often.)

I recalled an instance from a book I read years ago. I believe it was Xenocide by Orson Scott Card, part of his Ender cycle, for people that are his fans. (I kinda like him despite him being anti coffee and all, yet another idea for another post!) In this particular book, unless I am getting it mixed up with another book, there is an OCD girl, on a planet of OCD people, where being OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) is considered close to divinity, that traces the pattern on the floor over and over.  And, she teaches herself to do this, over years. At first it isn’t naturally occurring OCD, it is something that she forces herself to get in the habit of doing, but eventually it becomes a hardwired habit. Somewhere down the line, it’s been years since I read this book so I don’t really remember exactly, but, the problem that caused the people to be OCD is reversed, and the girl’s father is trying to get her to stop tracing the floor, because she should be cured. And, she won’t stop.

Okay, you are saying, that’s an odd tangent, but I’m not sure what your point is, or how this ties into the whole grass is greener idea?

Well, basically, this illustrates how you can get so used to doing the same thing over and over, to the point that even when you should be “cured”, you’re not, because you have trained yourself to do this, and it makes it hard to stop, and you may not even want to, because you are so used to the routine. As far as the grass is greener, I have been on both sides of that fence, and I can tell you, to quote Soundgarden, “the grass is greener where the dogs have been sh***ing.”  Basically, there is a cost to everything. Nothing is completely free. But you get so used to jumping the fence, that even if you know the grass isn’t greener over there, or that it might be filled with dog poo, you jump anyway like a tiger through a flaming hulu hoop at the circus. Only, in your case, or in my case, I am the one holding the whip, and jumping through the fire.  So, to make a long story a little bit longer, it’s time to stop tracing that floor and start doing something more constructive!

Thoughts? Did any of this make any sense at all?



Singe mom, part time writer of primarily sci-fi and fantasy.

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