I went from not really thinking about it at all, to being cynical and jaded and thinking “Is this All There is?”, back to thinking yes, there is something behind it all after all. Currently, yes, I do believe in fate or destiny. I think things happen for a reason even if we don’t understand that reason, and there does seem to be a point to it all. There have been times where I thought I should be dead now, but something intervened, somehow it wasn’t my time.
If you had told me I would still be here in my mid forties to me in my twenties, I wouldn’t have believed you. I thought I would die young, not sure how, or why, but I just didn’t feel like I belonged in this world. I never felt like I fit into any particular mold. I had trouble relating to people or making close friendships. I had trust issues that have only gotten worse.
So, why would I believe in destiny or fate now? If you asked me a few months ago I probably would have told you I don’t. But, sometimes things, or dominoes fall a certain way and change your view or thought process. And, that happened to me in November. I can’t fully explain it, not without sounding insane, but I will say, much like the butterfly effect, little things lead to bigger things, and alter one’s life path. However much I try to choose or do down a different path, I am always brought back to a certain place. I do not know the future. But, I do know what I should be doing.
There is a reason I say I am a writer, and not a published author. I am not a published author, although I would like to be someday. The good thing about that is it is a pathway that isn’t limited by age or looks, but ideas. I have ideas, I just need to follow through and put them down. I do believe I have a destiny, and I do believe there is a point to all this. I don’t claim to know it, or understand it, but I know it is there. I know where my path is supposed to lead if I can get out of my own way.