Posted in Life, Writing

Uncertainty and Personal Responsibility…and The White Fluffy Stuff

So I am bored and snowed in. Got so much snow, not sure if I am working tomorrow or not, or what’s going on. This of course gets me thinking about that dreaded feeling of uncertainty we all get when we don’t know what’s going to happen next. In a movie it is called suspense, and generally is considered a good thing, keeps the interest going. In your life, it is often stressful, and causes anxiety, not a good thing. I also want to touch on personal responsibility, as it appears to be harder to find people who actually accept and use it.

As far as uncertainty goes, we all have some of it in our lives. Nothing is set in stone, nothing is ever one hundred percent guaranteed. There is always an element of risk, it is all about how much you are willing to take, and whether the reward is worth it to you.

Ultimately, in my experience, the additional anxiety caused by worrying about possible futures that may or may not happen is a big waste of time. Often the end result that we suffer so much worrying about doesn’t even come to pass. It is good to be prepared, and to use your knowledge and past experiences to avoid repeating mistakes. There is a time and place for blind faith, but, it would be foolhardy to risk it all constantly. There becomes a point where gambling becomes less fun and more irresponsible and dangerous. Still, you can’t always play it safe, or you will miss out on alot of potential things in life. Promotions at work, people as friends, lovers, or even business contacts, or life in general. Our lives are made up of our experiences, good and bad. Both of these kinds of experiences partially create the person we are in this moment.

For example, I would be a much different person today if I had stayed in my marriage, or if  I had never gotten married. I might have been plagued by pointless “what if”ing, or maybe not. I will never know, but unless you are planning on writing an alternative history novel, I don’t see the point of dwelling on the past. You should deal with the past, not bury it, but once dealt with, you have to move on to greener pastures. You cannot time travel and fix it. And, if you could, how do you know if things would be better? You will never know, so instead, channel the what ifs, and the maybe’s into some passion of yours. For me, it is writing. I borrow pieces of people who I have met, and known over the years and mix them up with invented traits, and pieces of me. It is like venting, but kinda productive.  Makes for a rich cast of fictional people because there is an element of the non fiction in all writing. It is based on our experiences. Just as there is an element of fiction in most non fiction, via writer bias and flawed memories.

As far as taking responsibility goes, I get tired of people passing the buck, or blaming everyone else. Time to own up. And, if you do manage to mess up, clean up your mess. Don’t just shrug and go oh well, that is too bad. Someone has to do it, might as well be the person responsible. Oh, there is that word again, responsibility. Now, to tie these two things together isn’t actually as difficult as it appears. They go hand in hand. If you don’t take responsiblity for your actions, you will continue to find yourself in various crises, and also will most likely have a trail of past mistakes trailing after you.

Until you own it, and make amends for your past, take responsibility for what you messed up on, you are destined to repeat it. I have found it freed up my conscious to admit to myself my mistakes, how I contributed to how things have went in my life. It is freeing to know where you goofed, and it is nice to know not to do that again. Now, don’t take all the responsibility on your shoulders. There are always more than one reason for how things go. But, I do feel it is important for people to own their part of it.

As far as uncertainty goes, embrace it! It is part of being alive. We would all be so bored if we had all the answers and knew the screenplay of our lives by heart. If you don’t want to be plagued by the road less traveled, then get off the path a little. Maybe you are playing it too safe.

*May everyone who lives where it is snowing drive carefully, and be safe! Ice is nothing to gamble on! 🙂



Singe mom, part time writer of primarily sci-fi and fantasy.

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