I have been experimenting with my webcam, as my Facebook friends are well aware, and I was going to upload an intro video for here, but ran into the whole, uh, no you can’t do that without paying money thing. So, I won’t be doing that after all, and I was kinda looking forward to it. I guess for this entry, I will be touching on disappointment. Because I was disappointed that I couldn’t upload a video, but also, I have been running into a lot of things that could be disappointing, or have been disappointing, but, you can choose to not let it get you down.
For example, last night I had some good quality time with the family, and my young son was in a bad mood, he had missed his nap and he is only two years old. Soon, my mom was grumpy, then I was grumpy, then my dad, then my brothers, and pretty soon it was kinda tense. It illustrated to me, how negative emotions, feelings can spread, from one person to the next. It was kinda amazing looking back, when I wasn’t in the cloud anymore, and realizing it all started with my son being grumpy. Of course, the situation got so tense, that we started making jokes, changing the subject, and eventually the tension was relieved, and later, even, my son was in a great mood, very happy. and we were all smiling, and laughing. Positive emotions are also infectious. It’s nice to know it works both ways.
However, why am I telling you all this? This wasn’t disappointing? Well, I was disappointed in myself, for allowing myself to be drawn into the negativity, for slipping into snappiness, for being a part of the problem. I have been so happy lately, I thought nothing could bring me down. And, this just awakened in me the realization that contentment is fragile. That you can get drawn into the chaos, and you have to take a moment, and try to step back from the situation. Don’t let it escalate, don’t become a part of the problem. I realized this later, although at the time, I did make a conscious choice to stop contributing, and I am glad that I had the sense to do that.
The real disappointment came later, my son seemed to be ready to go. He willingly got his coat and shoes on, said something about a field trip. I just kinda said, yeah, sure, why not. I had no idea that he thought we were actually going on a field trip at 8pm. Needless to say, when we pulled into our parking spot, he flipped out on me, refused to leave the car, and cried, “FIELD TRIPPPPPP!!!!!” I was completely taken aback. I had no idea he thought we were going someplace, when I thought he was on my page, that it was time to go home. I eventually hauled him upstairs, pointed out that the stars were out, and that it was too late for a field trip, and that we could go on one tomorrow. He wasn’t mollified by this. Eventually, I waited it out, and he took off his coat, and let me rock him in the rocking chair, until he fell asleep. He was disappointed and he handled it like a typical toddler, by throwing a tantrum. As adults, we can’t handle it this way, and still be considered as functional in society. We have to swallow it, or confess it, or bury it, or deal with it. Dealing with it, is usually the best way, although it can be the most unpleasant at the time.
I guess my point is, no matter what you are kicking yourself in the behind about, you can always go on that field trip tomorrow, there is always hope, there is always another try. If you are disappointed, don’t let it ruin things, know that as long as you are breathing and able, there is always a chance it will work out down the line. Sometimes, timing is everything, and sometimes, we get caught up in our own cloud of negativity, and it is hard to see that you are in it until you are out.