Posted in Life, Uncategorized, Writing

It’s Been Awhile…

I have a lot of catching up to do, I know. I let life carry me away, and time management has always been a struggle for me. However, it just gets harder with every day I go without writing something. So, here I am. Back where I started. One of my idols, Ursula K LeGuin has passed away and I find myself struggling with just everyday life.

Dishes and laundry and playing chauffeur for my son and his much more exciting life, plus the Postal Service which can easily take a good chunk of time just by itself. But, in the end it is all excuses. You can make time for things that matter to you.

Perhaps I have found myself struck dumb with a severe case of apathy. I wonder if Ursula ever felt that, or did writing just flow all the time? I’ll never meet her, so I suppose I will never know for sure, although I have many books about writing by her. The answer may well be in one of those.

Maybe it is just laziness, maybe I don’t know, I secretly do not want to be happy. Maybe I don’t know how to be happy for long.

I hope any who still pass by this way forgive me for my rambling. I was partly inspired by the new Amazon series Electric Dreams, inspired by Philip K Dick, another author I envy. I liked all the episodes, some were more inspired than others. But the ones dealing with reality and being an other really resonated with me.

I don’t know how closely they follow the source material, because it has been a while since I read the stories, and some of them didn’t list which they were inspired by. Either way, they were interesting, and I am glad I saw them.

I also took the plunge and updated my laptop to windows 10. Unfortunately, I cannot find my copy of Office, which is the writing program I am used to using, and new copies are such an expensive proposition. Plus, I am so fond of this dear old laptop, but apparently windows 10 does not have a driver for my video card which is built into the motherboard. I can’t upgrade it, although I have upgraded everything else on this friendly dinosaur.

So, I have had  a few issues. Although, like the rest of this ramble, it is just more excuses. I will do better. I need to for myself. New Writing coming soon.

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Posted in Fiction, Life, Writing

Merry Christmas, Happy belated birthday to Philip K Dick and Michael Moorcock, and of course, Humphrey Bogart and any others I may have forgotten —Part 1

Okay, with the title out of the way, this is my belated post that I mentioned I would write. The one where I go on and on about Dick, and mention Moorcock, but mostly talk about Mr. Dick.  I assure you this post is about writing, and ideas, and fantasy and science fiction.

The reason for the Bogart mention, is besides the fact I am a huge fan of his movies, he was also a huge fan of writers and writing. So, I think a happy birthday is definitely in order, besides the old detective genre of movies has definitely affected how Hollywood portrays some of Philip K Dick’s stories. Blade Runner and Total Recall both have a taste of them, Blade Runner especially, has almost a feel of a Maltese Falcon type of feel with the detective/policeman voice over. My brain which is full of associations paused and just thought, ‘Harrison Ford, Blade Runner, Millennium Falcon, Star Wars, Maltese Falcon, Bogart.’ It can be truly wondrous how the brain works as I have recently seen Rogue One, and binged West World, my mind is just full of interesting connections right now.

In fact, Rogue One resurrected Peter Cushing much like an episode of TV did Bogart, to reprise a role. West World owes much in ideas and even its existence to Blade Runner, more than the original West World, which heavily influenced The Terminator which starred Schwarzenegger who starred in Total Recall, which was based on We Can Remember it For You Wholesale by Dick.

My brain is spinning from the universal connections some of these ideas have. To write something that permeates society so deeply and shows up so unexpectedly in so many different ways is I think many writer’s dream. I would say all writers but that begs an arrogance that I don’t possess.

I can’t know what all writer’s want, but I know what I would like. I don’t need fame, money is nice, but being rich has never been a goal of mine except as a child perhaps, but what I do crave is having a sense of permanence. Leaving something behind when I am gone, a deep carving in the rock saying ‘I was here. I lived, and I mattered, and this is what I stood for, this is what was important to me, this is my contribution to society. to my family, to myself, to the world.’

I think from what I have read of Philip K Dick, that he felt similarly. I can’t say the same because I will never know, but from the quotes I found, from the stories I read, he had a deep philosophical bent, which I also like to think I have in my writing, and meaning and legacy seem to have been a big deal. He had an existential streak that I also have, where the meaning of being alive, what it means to be human, what it means to exist was in the background of many of his stories sharing a strong strand of what does it mean to be real, what is reality, another question that I love to deal with. He was so effective at these two questions that I have found them, along with what is true, or the truth,  are the back bone of every story he wrote.

I received as a present a few years back a great book called the Philip K Dick Reader, it has all the short stories in one place. I know I have mentioned this in other posts, but I am a big fan of omnibus volumes.  I had seen the movies, I think Minority Report had come out sometime before I got the book and I expressed a desire to read the story. It always interests me in where adaptations decide to diverge and what they leave out, and add in. I have read Washington Irving’s The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, and complained throughout the Depp movie  that was based on it because it just shared the name pretty much but not much else, so it is a double edged sword, knowing the actual stories, sometimes it ruins the suspension of disbelief that is required to make it real.

But, with Dick, even when it diverges, it is like the essence, the reason behind the story creeps in. Hollywood cannot get rid of the message, it is in too deep. Total Recall is a good example. It has a lot of 80’s action movie and heavy cussing in it, it is a Verhoeven film more than a Dick story, by far. But the thing is, the actual story is so short and I can honestly say they needed to add more to the plot to make it work. It couldn’t be faithfully adapted into a two hour movie, and that is largely the case with Dick’s work.

In the end, the story has an ambiguous ending, you can’t definitively say whether he actually was a secret agent that went to Mars, or whether he was a vegetable at the vacation place, you can interpret it either way, and the movie stayed true to that. Both interpretations work which makes you question what is real, which is the question behind the story, and the movie itself, despite all the explosions and distractions that were added to make it flashy.

Minority Report I felt was mostly true to the story, I expected it to be further removed honestly because that is the trend with Dick’s work, and in general. The movie Adaptation deals with this quite well, actually. Basically it is a writer’s job and purpose to create, to recreate another person’s dream and be totally faithful to it is hard, because in the end we all want to create something new. It is a struggle because is any idea new, then becomes a question in of itself.

I also binge watched season two of The Man In the High Castle. This is an amazon show, so if you have prime it is easy to watch because you have all ready paid for it in a sense by being a member. You don’t have to buy it again, or pay for it and it is all out there to watch, no waiting each week for an episode to air. I didn’t quite enjoy season 1, so I wasn’t eagerly awaiting season 2. In fact, I only watched it because it came out around Mr Dick’s birthday, so I felt like maybe I should at least see it. And, you know what, season 2 was actually very very good.

It even had some Dick-ish themes going along in the background. What is reality? What is the truth? What is good what is evil? Can doing a horrible deed end up being the right thing to do? I haven’t read The Man in the High Castle, unfortunately, I have heard that the series diverges a great deal, and that isn’t surprising. But, I can say, that I felt the message behind it, the feeling, the questions in the background, are true to his work. So, the writers kept that in. I am starting to wonder if it is possible to remove this quality from his stories, as even the most crazy adaptation has it insidiously there, somewhere in the background, you just can’t remove it.

Back to Blade Runner, because it also isn’t a particular faithful adaptation. I have read Do Androids Dream of Electronic Sheep?, it is a great story. Much like We Can Remember it For You Wholesale, it is short, and I can see the need to add much to the plot to make it a full length film. Dick loved Blade Runner, and saw it as an improvement on his story. The fact that it didn’t replicate his story didn’t seem to bother him, he in fact was honored that the creative team managed to spin this story out of his own. Ultimately, the question behind both stories remain, what does it mean to  be human? What does it mean to be alive? West World the TV show deals with the same questions as well as the movie AI, which was based on a Brian Aldiss story, which I have also read.

Yes, the movie again departs heavily from the source, but it is also a series of short vignettes. So, of course it would diverge by necessity.Aldiss was annoyed by the merging of his story with the story of Pinocchio, but again, Pinocchio deals with what it means to be human, to be real, what makes him a puppet and how he eventually becomes a real boy. When there are no more real boys, will the close approximation of one be a real one as it is the most real one in existence?

The same questions are asked and the story of the other, and how we treat who we regard as the other is dealt with similarly. Whoever is considered less than is seen as a threat, and ultimately considered disposable. The African slaves are an example of this in real life, the American Indians, the Australian aborigines, anytime someone is considered the ‘Less Than’ by others they are treated horribly and sometimes eradicated as a perceived threat. We are threatened by things we cannot understand, and robots, computers, androids are good representations of this fear, of this irrational destructiveness we have toward the unknown or the misunderstood of the perceived ‘Less Than.’

We can use science fiction to look at these problems in a way that gets around any programming we may have received in our lives. You can have false beliefs toward a whole group of people than watch someone mistreat a robot on a TV show or in a book, and just maybe it can open your mind, and cause you to question the very belief that you think of as reality even though what you witnessed on TV or in a book is outlandish and far from real.

By taking it out of reality, it allows us as people to question reality. By being supremely unreal and untrue, we can learn real truth.I feel that Dick knew that, and played on that in his works. A Scanner Darkly deals directly with what is real, perceived reality versus a definitive reality. I think what is real is one of fiction’s greatest questions and it can be asked in so many interesting ways.

“That was my problem then and it’s my problem now; I have a bad attitude. In a nutshell, I fear authority but at the same time I resent it — the authority and my own fear — so I rebel. And writing SF is a way to rebel. … SF is a rebellious art form and it needs writers and readers and bad attitudes — an attitude of “Why?” or “How come?” or “Who says?”

Philip K Dick, From the forward to The Golden Man

Posted in Life, Uncategorized, Writing

Writing Prompt # 12 Good Bye Self Doubt

My Resignation

After years of unhappiness, you’ve finally had enough and have decided to quit—but

we’re not talking about your job. Write a letter of resignation to someone other than your

employer—your school, your family, your favorite sports team, etc.

 

I, Jenny Rae, am herewith writing my resignation notice to my inner critic. After many years of letting you hold me back, tell me I can’t do this, can’t have that, or that I am not good enough. I am finally done. I can do it. I can do whatever I set my mind to. I am the happiest I have been, in the best shape I have ever been in, and am living life, taking risks and not living in fear of what if, or worry.

There is a place for criticism but I will no longer tolerate negative self talk, or artificial limits placed on my abilities. I can publish that novel or another one. I can get an agent. I can live anywhere. I can and will have financial freedom to do what I want to do. I want to experience life without being chained by self doubt, anxiety and worries. I am no longer going to live in fear or doubt.  I will call on you as needed on a freelance basis to improve my writing, but will no longer be a slave to you.   I quit being employed by my self-doubt and disbelief. I can no longer blame any failings on others, and no longer will I be allowing myself to get in my own way.  Good bye self doubt, shut the door on your way out.

Sincerely, Jenny Rae.

Posted in Life, Uncategorized, Writing

What would you tell your younger self?

Writers Prompt.What would I tell my younger self?

This one is easy. Don’t be stupid. Think before you act. Don’t stay with an a hole. Don’t let an a hole move in with you. Don’t be distracted by a holes. Don’t marry Dave. He’s immature and will spend all his money at Shari’s restaurant. Always.

Finish a degree…accounting communications. Just stick with it til it’s done. See: don’t be distracted. Don’t leave a nice guy for an a hole.

Believe in yourself. Don’t do anything against your values to seem edgy or cool to others. It never ends well and it never works. Be you. Stay strong. Don’t be an a hole. You’re better than that. 🙂

Posted in Fiction, Uncategorized, Writing

Writing prompt 6, a poem (ps im not a poet)

Alphabet Poem

Write a 26-line poem using all the letters of the alphabet. Have the first line start with the

letter “A,” the second “B,” the third “C,” etc.

 

Admiring the view of the sunrise, red star in bloom

Basking in the sunshine and rays of love caressing the skin

Casually examining the mountains reaching for the heavens with icy fingers

Dealing with the absence of a lover feeling the love of the freedom that comes with distance

Effortless beauty of blue skies and blue eyes

Finishing a cup of coffee slowly savoring the bitter taste of being alive

Gazing at the mountain tops examining the white tops of forever

Higher than the tallest trees but oh so far away from me

If only they were nearer I could climb higher and lift myself to a higher place

Journey of the mind’s eye into a paradise where sun meets moon and dances the night away

Knocking on heaven’s door and waiting to be let in

Leaving too soon and back to earth in a rocket ship of my own making

Moon in full glory shining down upon me but oh where has my sunshine gone?

Nowhere and no one to witness this pain of separation of something so simple and true

Only one view at a time cannot have heaven and hell on earth, only one rocket to the moon

Passionately awaiting the sun with its rays of warmth to fill my cold heart

Questioning existence and the point of it all, what if this is all there is?

Reveling in the aroma of coffee mixed with flowers blooming and the endless possibilities of an unwritten future

Striving for equilibrium and security but yearning for passionate adventure

True to ourselves first, others second place which will finish first?

Universal abundance and glory can be had in dreams easily enough

Vitality like sunshine and moonbeams combined to fill my being with true love and eternal hope

Wonder at the beauty of the world and how I could be a part of it all, one piece of a million to make up a whole dream

Existence based on love and loving others while being true to the self

Yelling at society and the rules imposed on the unwilling, individuals over the group can feel the world instead of suppression

Zealous in adventure and life and living and doing and being the sun and the moon