Tag: mental-health

Posted in Life

What Advice Would You Give To Your Teenage Self?

Posted on by jennrae

I would probably tell myself that things will get better. That it isn’t the end of the world when a relationship doesn’t work out, that none of these guys are the “one.” Also to enjoy life, and that when you make a mistake it just takes you on a detour.

It isn’t necessarily a bad thing, just an alternate sometimes longer or more difficult route that may end up in a similar destination. Our experiences are what makes us, us. And I wouldn’t waste too much time trying to convince myself on making better choices.

Maybe just help myself understand how to navigate things and how better to pick myself up. Your parents try to show you the way and tell you what you should do. Most teenagers do not listen to parents or teachers.

I think it is more important to give them the tools to make the decisions themselves and figure it out, because the one person they will listen to is themselves or their friends. The one factor that you can steer or control is your own mind, and that would be where any advice that is actually implemented would come from.

I wasn’t the type to just go along with what other’s said anyhow, friends or not. I was more likely to listen to my friends than others, but my actions were always my own, for good or bad. I would go my own way.

Do I have regrets? Yes, of course. Would any advice have made a difference? Probably not. Whatever will be, will be. Or to quote Lost, “whatever happened, happened.”

So, I have made peace with my past, the ugly parts, the petty parts, and the downright stupid parts. I am glad I am hear to continue my story, and relatively unscathed at that. So, I consider myself pretty lucky overall.

Daily writing prompt
What advice would you give to your teenage self?
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Posted in Life

What Relationships Have a Positive Impact on You?

Posted on by jennrae

I think most relationships have had a positive impact. Sometimes it doesn’t seem that way at the time, of course. At the time, feelings of pain, rejection or outright fear can make it hard to see the good in it. I have been responsible and have been on the receiving end of ending romantic relationships, and even friendships.

I admit to having some trust issues because I was naive most of my youth, and I still want to see the good in people. I want to believe there is something special and kind inside all of us. I am stubborn, so for the most part I still believe this.

I do not try to save anyone or fix anyone though. Change has to come from within a person. I do believe you have to take a person as they are at that moment. And, if the person cares enough, and want to, they can and will make changes for someone. But, they have to be the one who wants it, and I don’t believe in ultimatums.

If it comes to that, the relationship is all ready doomed. No one changes willingly due to threats. They just get more clever at hiding things and pretending, and eventually things fall apart because people can’t keep up the act forever.

I survived a domestic violence situation that could have gone horribly wrong. That lasted as long as it did because the person was a master manipulator and knew I had self esteem issues. He wasn’t an evil person, but his view of the world was pretty dark. And, in direct conflict with mine. He had some terrible experiences that made him believe everyone was greedy and self serving and out to hurt others.

He basically saw things the complete opposite of me. The positive impact it had on me was to realize that even when things get that dark, there is always a way out. There is always a chance to start again, and there are people you can count on. Luckily I had family that helped me out, and got me out of there. I did have to live in terror for a week or so before that while a restraining order was in place.

I learned a lot. I learned that there are a lot of people who do not think like me. They aren’t bad people necessarily, but their experiences have hardened them to the point where they cannot truly love or care, or even connect with someone else. They just pretend for as long as they can.

Friendships have had a positive effect on me because while they aren’t as intense, they tend to be there for you when things go south. I have had friendships that have sustained me through depression.

There is someone that to this day, I feel saved my life by refusing to go away when I tried everything to distance myself from everyone. Because she wouldn’t go away, I couldn’t go through with my plan to get rid of myself. I was only in middle school but I was convinced I was like a cancer that dragged everyone around me down. That I was worthless and just by existing was making everyone’s life worse.

I knew people would be sad, and I didn’t want that. So, I thought I could minimize the damage by distancing myself and that would make it easier for people to get over me. She didn’t care how grumpy I was, or how irritable, if I told her to go away, she would instead give me a hug. Everyone needs someone like that in their life. Someone that won’t give up on you no matter what.

Daily writing prompt
What relationships have a positive impact on you?
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