Tag: life

Posted in Life, Writing

List Five Things You Do For Fun.

Posted on by jennrae

I enjoy drawing. I have a cartoony style that is unique and unpolished. I have used it to create portraits for characters in the past. But it is mostly just fun doodles. I’d like to try my hand at painting, I used to paint years ago.

I write short stories or character studies for fun. I like to write short fiction. It is fun to wrap up the story quickly. Short timed writes are especially fun because there is no pressure for it to be perfect.

I also listen to music for fun. It is also fun to see live music. I think music is the secret to changing a bad mood to a good mood. I can change my energy based on what I am listening to. And live shows are especially fun because it is like you are one with the crowd. It is a different kind of energy.

I also like to get out of town and see new things, find new experiences. Sometimes we will pick a place to explore and see what’s there. Get to know a different place. We found a virtual arcade that way and go carts, drive in theaters too. It is kind of cool to research a place for fun things to do that isn’t typically a tourist spot. You can find some fun shopping areas too with unique finds. And I enjoy bargain hunting and finding treasure.

I also like to walk or hike for fun, or just be out in nature. Camping is awesome for getting away and recharging the soul. We hiked to the lighthouse one year which is five miles one way. Walking in sand that is also cold and rocky with the sun on your back was a unique experience, but the tour of the lighthouse was well worth it. I need to do that again. It has been awhile.

Obviously I enjoy movies and books of course, and going to the theater or even the local playhouse is also very fun for me.

Daily writing prompt
List five things you do for fun.
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Posted in Life, Writing

What Could You Do Differently?

Posted on by jennrae

That is hard to answer. I could do a lot of things differently. How I approach my writing, my web page, or even people I meet on the street. I usually skip breakfast, I can get ready for work pretty quickly. I am not one of those girls who primp for hours in front of a mirror. I can get ready in like fifteen minutes. And, be out the door. I don’t like to keep people waiting, and I like to be on time. I am a punctual person.

It does mean that I usually have coffee for breakfast, but then my lunch is kind of early. I have lunch when some eat breakfast. Late breakfast, but still early lunch. I have been going to the gym consistently, but I could probably add or vary my routine.

I plan on cutting down on my sugar intake, just still have a lot of garbage from the holidays laying around. Once, that is gone, I am planning on it staying gone.

I could be more organized. My room and my life is sort of chaotic at the moment. I could use more structure. I plan on structuring my time in order to be a bit more efficient.

I need to plan a new story and it just won’t happen if I don’t set aside a time slot for it. I am also trying to focus more on what I all ready have, instead of pining for what I don’t.

I need to be more grateful for the abundance that is all ready here. I need to get this writing gig off the ground so I can get away from a work environment that is at times hostile and not always good for my mental health.

But, I can’t wait for someone to step in and save me. I have to save myself. I have to try harder, and do more. More efficiency and better time management are definitely something to work on. Healthier habits will have healthier outcomes. I need to knuckle down and do the hard work. I need to do this for me.

Daily writing prompt
What could you do differently?
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Posted in Life

What Makes You Feel Nostalgic?

Posted on by jennrae

Watching movies from the nineties makes me feel nostalgic. I just watched Reality Bites. Other movies that are good for this are: Singles, Empire Records, The Usual Suspects, and Four Rooms all make me feel nostalgic. Because I remember them from back in the day. Music will also make me feel nostalgic. I’ll associate music with a time or place, an event or a time period for sure.

Sometimes, walking or driving down a street will make me feel nostalgic. We went to the Regal Cinema in Lakewood, which I haven’t been to in years. And, it reminded me there used to be a twenty-four hour bowling alley with mini golf there. It is gone now, but the sign is the same. It was a bit surreal.

It was like I was transported to another year, but things were also different, so it was more like another dimension. Sometimes I will see a photo, or even a television commercial that will remind me of another time or place. It seems like the older I get, the more likely I am to be nostalgic, the more triggers I am going to have, good or bad, for other memories.

Sometimes someone will say something that will trigger something, or it could be as simple as a random thought in a chain of thoughts that eventually leads to something from the past. I don’t mind feeling nostalgic, but I don’t want to get trapped in the past either. I also want to look ahead to the future. So, I have to be cognizant of that and pull myself out of it sometimes.

Daily writing prompt
What makes you feel nostalgic?
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Posted in Life

What Relationships Have a Positive Impact on You?

Posted on by jennrae

I think most relationships have had a positive impact. Sometimes it doesn’t seem that way at the time, of course. At the time, feelings of pain, rejection or outright fear can make it hard to see the good in it. I have been responsible and have been on the receiving end of ending romantic relationships, and even friendships.

I admit to having some trust issues because I was naive most of my youth, and I still want to see the good in people. I want to believe there is something special and kind inside all of us. I am stubborn, so for the most part I still believe this.

I do not try to save anyone or fix anyone though. Change has to come from within a person. I do believe you have to take a person as they are at that moment. And, if the person cares enough, and want to, they can and will make changes for someone. But, they have to be the one who wants it, and I don’t believe in ultimatums.

If it comes to that, the relationship is all ready doomed. No one changes willingly due to threats. They just get more clever at hiding things and pretending, and eventually things fall apart because people can’t keep up the act forever.

I survived a domestic violence situation that could have gone horribly wrong. That lasted as long as it did because the person was a master manipulator and knew I had self esteem issues. He wasn’t an evil person, but his view of the world was pretty dark. And, in direct conflict with mine. He had some terrible experiences that made him believe everyone was greedy and self serving and out to hurt others.

He basically saw things the complete opposite of me. The positive impact it had on me was to realize that even when things get that dark, there is always a way out. There is always a chance to start again, and there are people you can count on. Luckily I had family that helped me out, and got me out of there. I did have to live in terror for a week or so before that while a restraining order was in place.

I learned a lot. I learned that there are a lot of people who do not think like me. They aren’t bad people necessarily, but their experiences have hardened them to the point where they cannot truly love or care, or even connect with someone else. They just pretend for as long as they can.

Friendships have had a positive effect on me because while they aren’t as intense, they tend to be there for you when things go south. I have had friendships that have sustained me through depression.

There is someone that to this day, I feel saved my life by refusing to go away when I tried everything to distance myself from everyone. Because she wouldn’t go away, I couldn’t go through with my plan to get rid of myself. I was only in middle school but I was convinced I was like a cancer that dragged everyone around me down. That I was worthless and just by existing was making everyone’s life worse.

I knew people would be sad, and I didn’t want that. So, I thought I could minimize the damage by distancing myself and that would make it easier for people to get over me. She didn’t care how grumpy I was, or how irritable, if I told her to go away, she would instead give me a hug. Everyone needs someone like that in their life. Someone that won’t give up on you no matter what.

Daily writing prompt
What relationships have a positive impact on you?
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Posted in Life, Writing

You Get to Build Your Perfect Space For Reading and Writing. What’s It Like?

Posted on by jennrae

For reading I would have a place with plenty of light, natural and artificial. Maybe a whole wall is a large window, and one wall would be a bookcase with tons of books covering a lot of topics and some classic literature for inspiration. Lots of comfy throw blankets and a few cozy chairs, maybe one large couch that reclines with phone chargers built in. A sound system with a record player and a cd player and a radio for audio inspiration. Lots of old movie posters or literary posters on the remaining walls. Cross between cozy coffee shop and old library.

For writing, maybe something a little less cozy, a desk for the computer and printer, good source of internet for research and a coffee maker. Again, a good sound system, I like to write to music. Inspiring quotes or posters on the wall, but less comfy furniture. Maybe a small bookcase with writing and reference books within easy reach.

I kind of like the idea of a converted shed, office in the back yard. I read somewhere that is how J.D Salinger wrote Cather in the Rye, to free him from distractions from the house. He would go to work there, and people knew to leave him alone. I love the idea of an ADU just for writing. Like a mother in law apartment with a small kitchenette and bathroom. Keep work and home separate in a way. I would like that. And a beautiful garden outside it for more inspiration.

Daily writing prompt
You get to build your perfect space for reading and writing. What’s it like?
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Posted in Uncategorized

What Skills Or Lessons Have You Learned Recently?

Posted on by jennrae

I have learned it isn’t too late to fulfill a goal or a dream. As long as I still breathe there is hope that I can accomplish something meaningful. I have also learned that waiting for something to happen can be a way of procrastinating or avoiding life. I need to make life happen, not waiting for it to sort itself out.

I need to create my experiences and I need to enjoy the moments I do have. There is more to life than working and eating and sleeping. I forgot how much I need companionship and good cheer. I tend to isolate myself. Not intentionally of course, just being social takes work for me. It never came naturally. I always made easier friends with animals than people.

I guess I have learned to fake it pretty well. It is a skill to make it seem like you enjoy small talk. A skill that I have used for a long time, but I think I have gotten better at it. It isn’t like I don’t care. I actually care a great deal, I am just not good at showing it at times. And, I just don’t like the informal dance of How do you do, I’m Good thing that we do over and over. I guess I wish greetings were more original or varied. I enjoy getting to know a person, I don’t enjoy a crowd. I guess I have gotten better at dealing with it though.

Daily writing prompt
What skills or lessons have you learned recently?
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Posted in Life

What’s the Hardest Decision You’ve Ever Had to Make? Why?

Posted on by jennrae

The hardest for me was to admit I needed help and to move back to my hometown when I was pregnant. I have always been very stubborn, and very independent. So, admitting I was out of my depth and needed help was very hard. And, dealing with it all by myself was too much. I needed to be closer to my family and I needed the support. I had left a very ugly domestic violence situation and so was very isolated.

So, I was very alone, and the stakes were very real. It was the best decision I made because sometimes you have to admit you need other people and I really don’t know what would have happened to me had I stayed over there. I’ve made a lot of dumb decisions or at least questionable ones in the past. I kind of learn by stumbling around figuring things out as I go. Someone was looking out for me to give me the wisdom I needed in that moment. I believe that.

Daily writing prompt
What’s the hardest decision you’ve ever had to make? Why?
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Posted in Fiction, Life

Time To Write — Where Is Here?

Posted on by jennrae

What is love? What is a feeling? Does it matter? Do we matter?

I wanted to say resoundingly, “Yes! Of course.” But then tomorrow there would be bills to pay, work to do, and the minutiae of everyday life. The things that can get in the way of the more exciting and wild life that I crave. It is like a slow death walking through the grocery store picking up this and that, deciding yes, I want to try that cocoa cereal, or I need the circular ice cube tray because it is there, and why not?

And then I am home with my circular ice cubes thinking, why did I buy this? Who cares about the shape of ice cubes? Then my mind wanders thinking about people who may not have easy access to water. They would probably love to have ice cubes, no matter the shape. Everything is just so commercial here. Commoditized for consumption. You don’t like that sweater, throw it away and get another. Don’t feel like cooking tonight? Order in.

I feel chained to a job I do not love to pay bills for things I may not need so I can live a life I find dull. I want adventure. To be swept off my feet and taken to an exotic location. Someone that holds me and listens to me complain about nothing. I feel like a train passenger in my own life, only the conductor never stops and I can’t get off.

Please let me off here, I want to enjoy this moment a little longer please. No response. He keeps going and ten years pass, and then another five, and I am wondering, what happened? Where did the time go? Why am I here? Where is here? And, then when I figure it out, it will be too late.

Posted in Uncategorized

Top 3 Pet Peeves

Posted on by jennrae

I don’t like it when someone makes me repeat myself. It shows they aren’t really listening and it is very annoying. I also don’t like it when people don’t say thank you, or appear grateful. I guess I find it rude, and rudeness is annoying.

I also don’t like when someone says they will be there at a certain time, and they show up really late. It has to be more than ten minutes though. I personally hate being late, but I am realistic as far as traffic and unaccounted for things.

These pet peeves aren’t like serious deal breakers. I will still stay friends or continue talking to someone.

I’m the type who seethes on the inside and I may grumble about it a bit, but I don’t hold grudges and I don’t have ill will or anger toward anyone. If I do get upset, it doesn’t last. I am usually over it within hours. Life is too short to waste it on negative energy.

Daily writing prompt
Name your top three pet peeves.
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