Posted in Uncategorized

What’s Your Favorite Time of Day?

My favorite time of day will depend on which day of the week. I like Saturday afternoons because I am done with work for sure and have the rest of the day to figure out what I would like to do.

I tend to do a lot of laundry and household stuff on Sunday and can’t stay up late because I work Monday morning, so on Sundays I like when I just get up and get that first cup of coffee. The rest of the day is still ahead and I feel well rested and am just enjoying that early sunshine and kitty cat love. They love to snuggle on Sundays because I never work on Sundays anymore.

The rest of the week my favorite time would be from 6pm to 9pm, I have gotten away from work and the uniform and have dealt with or am dealing with dinner. It is usually when I have time to watch a movie. I do most of the posting on the weekend, and most of my blog posts too. But the actually watching is done sporadically throughout the week.

Mondays are usually extra hectic for me because my son has some activities that he does. Although, the day is coming when he won’t need me to shuttle him around. He hardly does right now. So, I don’t mind.

There are times when my favorite time is the little bit of downtime as I am laying in bed going to sleep. Sometimes I will dream or think of how I would like things to be, sometimes I will try to just not think about anything at all. Just everything being quiet and still. It can be really peaceful no matter what has happened earlier.

Even lunchtime can be great because it isn’t much but I do get to see my son and the cats for a bit and get away from work. It is a nice break. I guess there isn’t one set time that is my favorite. Just time with my kitties and my son is my favorite time no matter where it lands during the day.

Posted in Uncategorized

What Do You Love About Where You Live?

The area I live is very beautiful and close to all kinds of nature. It is the lavender capital of North America, and has three festivals from March to July. August and September are amazing months and the fall is my favorite time of year. If you want to see the city, it isn’t too far away. It is a short drive to Seattle, even shorter to the mall in Silverdale.

There are a lot of bike paths as well and it is pretty walkable. It can be a bit boring for the young people, and house prices are getting kind of expensive around here.

I feel like I’m slowly being priced out of where I grew up because there are so many people here from California, and Portland, and Seattle. Prices have been climbing, even rental prices have went up quite a bit. But, I plan on staying as long as I can afford to. We have mountains, and lakes nearby, on either side of us, plus other towns like Port Angeles and Port Townsend that can be fun to visit. Mostly though, I really like the proximity to the wilderness. I like all the trees. I like all the lavender everywhere.

Do I sometimes wish there were more of a music scene or more things to do? Sure. But, in the end there is a pretty cool park that is free that I can draw or write in, and plenty of coffee shops to bring the laptop to get away from KitKat who is presently demanding that I go to bed, immediately.

It is peaceful for the most part and crime isn’t bad. We are kind of isolated, even by Washington State standards, off on the Olympic Peninsula. But I sort of like that. I like that you have to discover us or get off the beaten path to figure out we’re here. It is like a secret. You have to get a secret invitation or know someone who knows someone to find out about us.

Posted in Life, Writing

What Brings You Peace?

I am thinking peace of mind. I do not have the power to enact peace on earth, and I have too much peace and quiet these days to want more of that. Sometimes reading a good book, or even a nice nap will bring me momentary peace. Meditation can do wonders as well. Sometimes music can bring me peace.

Lavender oil is very calming and peaceful. I have a ceramic stone I will put drops on for the cats if I know someone is coming over or something major is going on. Fireworks were particularly stressful recently for them.

Sometimes day dreaming can be soothing if I am able to do it, and can bring me peace. Or writing; it can be peaceful. Sometimes the timed writings where you don’t stop and think and correct things are the best for that because there is no pressure to fix anything. It just is.

I feel like I need some more internal peace. I get stressed over financial things easily and tend to want to put my head in the sand even though I know that isn’t helpful or even good idea.

Sometimes a good hearty meal or time with family or loved ones can bring me peace of mind. Just knowing there are people that care about you and think about you can be an amazing feeling. It is easy to overlook or forget this.

It is easy to take people for granted for always being there, until one day they aren’t. And then I am plagued with questions like why didn’t I visit more, or why did I let the minutiae of life get in the way of telling or showing someone I care? And now it is too late. I put off visiting and now I’ll never get to.

How many dear friends have I allowed to drift away because I just stopped reaching out? One is too many, and I have a terrible habit of getting lost in the grind. And, then when I need a shoulder to cry on, everyone has moved on and the dust has settled on all the memories and all I have left is peace and quiet. The kind of peace that I do not need more of.

Posted in Life, Writing

You’re Writing Your Autobiography. What’s Your Opening Sentence?

I enjoyed looking at the glass and all the little plastic bubbles with tiny toys inside. Some were stickers, some those sticky hands that came in fluorescent colors, and some were tiny erasers. I knew they needed a coin to insert in order to get one of the bubbles. But, I wasn’t sure how to ask for a coin, or whether it was a good idea to ask for one. I studied all the different little things, thinking about asking my Mom for a quarter.

And then, I looked around, and my Mom, the shopping cart, and my brothers were gone. I was alone. By the front door of the store. I felt myself panic a little. I was scared. But I wasn’t scared of being alone.

I was scared I would be in big trouble. I knew I couldn’t ask for a quarter now. She would be mad at me. I did something wrong. I looked at the bubbles and somehow everyone disappeared. It would be only later that I would realize that I remembered it differently.

My mom tells it that I ran off in the store, of course, she was upset, and panicked and wouldn’t let anyone leave until I was found. Some old man brought me to the register, and I didn’t say a word.

I remember just getting distracted and staying by the entrance. It was my family that wandered off from me, leaving me behind. I do not know what really happened.

Unfortunately, I liked to tell tall tales and my relationship with reality was sketchy at best back then. I also told everyone I lived in the White House. My house was white, so to me it was true.

I thought if I said something, I could make it happen. I also thought I could understand animals. Ants especially. Ants were my friends and cabbage moths. I even didn’t mind spiders. I would learn to fear them later like so many other things.

Daily writing prompt
You’re writing your autobiography. What’s your opening sentence?
Posted in Life

What Advice Would You Give To Your Teenage Self?

I would probably tell myself that things will get better. That it isn’t the end of the world when a relationship doesn’t work out, that none of these guys are the “one.” Also to enjoy life, and that when you make a mistake it just takes you on a detour.

It isn’t necessarily a bad thing, just an alternate sometimes longer or more difficult route that may end up in a similar destination. Our experiences are what makes us, us. And I wouldn’t waste too much time trying to convince myself on making better choices.

Maybe just help myself understand how to navigate things and how better to pick myself up. Your parents try to show you the way and tell you what you should do. Most teenagers do not listen to parents or teachers.

I think it is more important to give them the tools to make the decisions themselves and figure it out, because the one person they will listen to is themselves or their friends. The one factor that you can steer or control is your own mind, and that would be where any advice that is actually implemented would come from.

I wasn’t the type to just go along with what other’s said anyhow, friends or not. I was more likely to listen to my friends than others, but my actions were always my own, for good or bad. I would go my own way.

Do I have regrets? Yes, of course. Would any advice have made a difference? Probably not. Whatever will be, will be. Or to quote Lost, “whatever happened, happened.”

So, I have made peace with my past, the ugly parts, the petty parts, and the downright stupid parts. I am glad I am hear to continue my story, and relatively unscathed at that. So, I consider myself pretty lucky overall.

Daily writing prompt
What advice would you give to your teenage self?
Posted in Uncategorized

Another Character Study –A Story of Friendship

The images and sounds of the bus depot would stick with her. No matter how much she tried to stay positive, she always ended up feeling defeated before the battle even began.

All the faces of despair and poverty; the ugliness stared back at her without seeing her. They appeared to be looking through her into the vacant space of nothingness. She was Rhiannon, and she was waiting for her life to be over one day at a time. She lived for the moment, tomorrow was another day. Another day of empty stares, another day of meaningless hellos, and even more meaningless farewells.

Rhiannon pictured a treadmill at the local women’s fitness club. That was her life, one foot stepping in front of the other, alternating, using up time. Rhiannon knew that not everyone felt this way. Her mother’s voice over the phone dripped with urgency, and emotion. She was a powder keg of anxiety waiting to blow up in some poor guy’s face.

Rhiannon felt detached. She didn’t feel sorry for the fate of the victim, nor for her mother the ticking time bomb. That was the problem with Rhiannon. She felt absolutely nothing at all.

“Hey, Rhee, whatcha thinking about?” Her cool blue eyes shifted from the vacant people who lived and died on mass transit, toward the plain yet persistent Annie. Rhiannon had yet to find a way to get rid of Annie, who was oblivious to the blankness and detachment evident in Rhiannon’s eyes. “Well?” Annie hated gaps in a conversation. Conversations were like little books to her; they consisted of a definite beginning, middle, and conclusion. Emptiness was something that Annie didn’t like.

“Look at the people on the bus there. My life is much the same. We’re all slaves to an endless routine which is slowly poisoning us.”

“Rhee, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was thinking, maybe we could rent some movies. Have a girls night in, you know.”

“Annie, isn’t that what we always do? I know I haven’t felt well lately. I know I’ve been a hermit. But that doesn’t mean you have to be one too. It is okay for you to have a life. You’re allowed, I hereby give you my permission.” Rhiannon knew her words stung Annie because she was quiet, something of a rarity when it comes to Annie. Rhiannon watched her nod, and wave. Annie sighed, got in her little white car, an old Datsun, and backed out while another equally small car honked disharmoniously at her.

Was it such a crime to want to be alone? Rhiannon had no car. She used to have one. It wasn’t expensive, although her parents bought it for her. Her brother wrecked it after a wild night of bar hopping. She wasn’t there when it happened. She had stayed home, painting. Painting had once been her true love. Now? She wasn’t so sure. She walked to her apartment despite it being eight miles away. She liked walking. She liked people watching. What was going on in the mind of the old lady walking her mini daschund? Or the fat man taking out his trash?

Annie would be home stewing, her door shut, waiting for an apology. Rhiannon knew that Annie simply wanted someone to take care of, to care for. Rhiannon also knew that Annie was extremely shy. Not in the same way as Rhiannon, not through a lack of caring, but due to a pervading fear of rejection. Loners tend to seek out other loners, and they met and had been friends since high school. Annie had the misfortune of being the new girl, fresh in from someplace in Massachusetts. Rhiannon on the other hand grew up rarely stirring from the same small town. To by shy and to start over from scratch, not once but many times sounded like torture.

Annie’s father was some kind of business man, although what he did exactly was unknown to Rhiannon. It started in school, art class. “There are four of you to a table for a reason. Your final will be a group project. If you don’t participate, you fail the class. That’s it, pure and simple, folks. Many take this class thinking “Easy A”, but I am here to dismiss that myth.” That’s right, Rhiannon’s most enduring friendship was from a teacher’s random seating chart.

Rhiannon tiredly unlocked the door, and pushed herself into the small two bedroom apartment. There was no one set of decor, it was a hodge podge of styles. Her mother would be horrified if she ever visited. Half the place was covered in Rhiannon’s drawings or paintings, the other half had those prints one buys at Michael’s combined with a couple well chosen family pictures. That was Annie’s contribution.

Rhiannon’s photos remained in several scrapbooks kept hidden under lock and key. She only revisited them if she thought she was completely alone, and even then only rarely. To Rhiannon her mother was the shrill concerned voice on the other end of the telephone. That was all. Sometimes she had dreams of the phone ringing, and ringing, but the line would always be dead before she picked it up. She often wondered what the dream meant. Somewhere deep down in the core of her being, perhaps she missed her mom? Or perhaps it meant nothing.

She shut the door lazily, neither slamming it, nor taking care to be gentle.

“Your mom called. She left a message. I think you should call her back.” Annie’s voice was clipped and precise. It was an attempt to project coldness and impersonal lack of feeling. It was a failure. Rhiannon knew Annie was hurt. She even understood why. She simply couldn’t bring herself to care.

“Okay.” Rhiannon briefly glanced at the TV. Annie was pretending to be absorbed by an old episode of Sex in the City. Rhiannon shrugged. She approached the old black answering machine with trepidation. She knew she should return her Mom’s call. What she didn’t understand is why she didn’t want to. Rhiannon’s mother wasn’t perfect, but she was far from an evil uncaring child abuser. She’d always been there when Rhiannon needed her, and she was not unkind. But she did expect success. Success with a capital “S.” The kind that entailed wealth, kids, and a college degree. Perhaps she was simply praying for one of the above.

Rhiannon sighs, and plays back the messages. Three are from her mom, each one getting more frantic then the last. Two are from Michael. He must be back from college. One is a random person calling for a Melinda Richards who once must have possessed this number. They get her calls a lot, mostly solicitations for money. Rhiannon’s opinion of Melinda was mixed. The charity work was not bad, but the old debtors got annoying. Rhiannon wondered how someone obviously in financial difficulties would continuously give money away. Rhiannon’s imagination would conjure possibilities as varied as a simple divorce, to a death in the family. Maybe it was something more extreme; someone addicted to losing money over the phone.

She listened to her Mom’s message again. “Darling, please return my call. I’ve also spoken with your room mate. She seems like a nice girl, so there is no way you can avoid this message. I love you dear. Are you coming to Nathalie’s baby shower? Let me know, okay?”

“Who is Michael?” asks Annie, pretending disinterest and failing.

“Michael is an old friend. You don’t remember?”

“That Michael? From way back then? You were more than friends, if I remember correctly.”

“Yes, well, that was then. I need to call my Mom. Apparently my brother is having a kid.”

“If you’d check your messages you would have known that months ago.” Rhiannon dialed the number, ignoring Annie.

Posted in Fiction, Uncategorized, Writing

Apple Pie By the Slice– A Short Story

The room consisted of a wooden chair, and a faded green rug near the rock fireplace. The fire blazed merrily, little sparks here and there dancing among the embers. The glowing light brightened the small room considerably.

An old woman was in an old wooden rocking chair with a comfy but worn afghan covering her lap near the fire. Her old wrinkled hands were outstretched toward the fire seeking additional warmth.

The stranger shut the door behind him loudly, and put his wide brimmed black hat on a peg near the door. He strode in wide strides to where the old woman sat.

She didn’t seem to notice his presence. She had some knitting materials at her side, kind of a haphazard jumble of green and brown yarn. The man stood a little to the right of her chair as she rocked it gently and evenly; the wood making a sharp creaking sound.

“Old mother. I have come home at last. Do you know why?” The man said leaning toward her ear. His black eyes flashed with a cruel intensity, the fire making him appear devilish.

The old woman didn’t turn her head, but calmly said, “Of course. You have come to finish what you started years ago. You have come to kill me.” She didn’t stop knitting, only hesitating over a cumbersome knot as a hint of annoyance briefly crossed her face.

The man’s expression changed little. Some of the glee had been stolen from his eyes by her calm and emotionless affirmation of his intentions. The old woman had done this sort of thing for most of his life, and the man felt somehow cheated of his victory over her.

“Old woman, that is so. Why don’t you put that knitting down?” The man’s tone had a bit of hurt pride and a mixture of impatience about it now. Somehow slaying the old woman while she was working her needle seemed fundamentally wrong to him, while the act of killing her did not.

“You are a grown man now, and left this house when merely a boy. I wasn’t even aware that you had gone that day, till you didn’t clamor and holler for food first thing,” the old woman said, her voice tired and hoarse. The man only grunted in response. He had a tool especially prepared for this day, and he had taken  meticulous and proper care of it just for this moment.

He pulled out a slender blade, a small sword or a large knife, when a gun would have done as well. He wanted to use a blade for a reason however.  He wanted to see the look of pain on her face. He wanted to feel the blood when the metal cut through the corpse-like body of the old woman.

“It is your time, old mother.” The man said quietly in anticipation. The old woman continued working, looking toward the fire. If she heard him she gave no sign.

The man took out his custom sword knife out of its sheath of oiled leather, admiring the gleam of freshly sharpened metal as it gleamed from the firelight.

He placed it against her throat, adding just a little bit of pressure. He smiled at the little line of blood he had caused. The old woman didn’t give him the satisfaction of a reaction, merely looked ahead toward the fire as before.

There was a loud knocking at the door in the next moment. It was very loud, and happened again. The man looked toward the door, and cursed under his breath.

“Old mother, tell them it is all right, and that you wish to visit another time,” The man hissed in her ear, moving the blade only a little ways from her throat so that she could speak proper.

“But, dear boy, that would be a lie. You would have me lie, when you know how much I despise liars.” Now it was the old woman who had a glint in her eye. The man was now at her mercy because she knew he wanted her dead, and that this call of hers wouldn’t give him much time to flee the scene.

However, she must know she was dead either way. Whatever love had once existed between these two creatures had died a long time ago, and neither could remember when it had existed.

“Little Joe, Maryann, by all means come on in. The tea is ready in the kitchen, and i have a fresh baked apple pie for you!” The old woman yelled with sudden strength. The man glared at her, and lifted the blade just as the couple opened the door and entered.

Maryann shut the door, while her husband exclaimed, “Sir, what do you think you are doing here? Leave my grandma alone.”

The man was taken by surprise by the face displaced before him. It was so much like the face of his brother. The one that the old mother had favored to a fault. He had hated him so much, almost as much as he had hated the old woman. He now found himself more sad than hateful. This visage was much younger than his brother would have been on this day. It was his brother Joe’s son, and he was wedded as well.

This made the man realize how much he had missed of life after he ran away from home. This made him hesitate. The old woman grabbed at his hand with renewed energy and took the slender and rather small sword from his shocked fingers.

The old woman didn’t hesitate but neatly drove the blade through his back while he faced the newcomers. He felt it and put his hand where the blood began to well, in yet more surprise and pain. The old woman calmly reached out for a nearby wooden cane and motioned for the couple to follow her into the kitchen where the tea and pie were waiting.

“Well, that Johnny was always a failure. Too bad though. He is ruining my green rug. He always did, so I guess that’s nothing new. Come on, why are you standing there like that? We can’t let him stop us from our visit. He has tried to kill me before. Well, sit down!” The old woman ordered with a happy smile, oblivious to the act she had just done.

Little Joe and Maryann reluctantly sat down at the table, both  glancing nervously into the other room. “Grandma, don’t you think, we had best call the Doctor? Or something? There is a man bleeding to death in the other room.”

“So there is,” answered the old woman. “But then, you both saw him towering over me with that fool’s sword, don’t you? Well, it is nothing then. Here have some pie. I made it for you, especially.” The old woman dished out a slice for each one, and gave them each a cup of tea. The old woman looked at her apron in disgust. Well, laundry would be on her to do list for the next day, anyhow. She removed it carefully, and threw it into the sink.

“So, my dears, do you think your child is going to be a girl or a boy?”

Maryann remained pale, and knew not what to say. Little Joe answered, recovering a bit quicker from the shock. “Actually, we are still not sure; it is still a ways off after all. But, we were thinking if it is a boy,  of naming him perhaps after my Uncle who disappeared. I wonder what happened to the poor fella.”

“Hmm. Hard to say. Runaways are a sad lot.” The old woman said sternly. “I think Joseph would be much better suited for a boy though, myself.”

Maryann finally managed to speak and trying to sound normal said,” Of course, it could be a girl, and then I am sure we can name it after you, Grandma Mathilda.”

Little Joe nodded, patting Maryann gently on the hand. It was then that another knock came at the door. It was also very loud. They all looked at each other, no one saying a word.

 

 

Posted in Life

Happy Thanksgiving! :)

And, if you aren’t an American, than happy whatever the equivalent holiday, and well wishes to you regardless! 🙂

To everyone that is celebrating, celebrate! Celebrate your family, your loved ones, the fact that there is a time for togetherness set aside as a National Holiday. Many places will be closed and allow us to stop our busy lives momentarily and just be. So, regardless of how close you are to your family or loved ones, hopefully you will set aside some time today to think of them, and how lucky you were to have them in your lives and to send well wishes their way in whatever way you can. I know the weather is keeping some families apart on this day, but it isn’t the day, it is the time spent.  If you can’t get together until Monday, don’t fret, your love isn’t worth more on Thursday… it is worth the same.

So cherish the people in your lives, and feel good. Celebrate your life, and think on the good times, not the bad, and remember to smile! it is contagious much like yawning!

I am determined to be a mood enhancer instead of a downer. I am not going to let any drama get in my way, whether of my creation or not. Nothing will stop me from enjoying the moments with those that really care for me. And, to the ones I care for that are far away, I hope your time with your families has went well, and that it is a good experience for you. Know that you are in my thoughts, and that I wish you well!

Now that I got all that out of the way, I’d like to say I am drifting toward being too serious again. I don’t want to lose the lightness, charm, and silliness. I think part of enjoying life is being able to laugh it off, and shrug. I want to keep the good feelings going, and I don’t want to get into the old trap of freaking out. So, I am going to make an effort to stay light, and not tell people what they should do, because how do I know? What is good advice to one person, is horrible advice to another, and I don’t want to become one of those writers that acts like they have all the answers.  I learn as I go along, by trial and error same as the rest of you.

I am far from wise, and I know it.  I do believe knowledge is power. Whether we choose to use that power or not, is never a given.  Sometimes knowing is enough, sometimes we have to act on our knowledge to get anything from it.  Maybe some knowledge is like the atom bomb, not to be used but just the idea of having it can be used as a weapon, and some knowledge is trivial, and won’t affect much, and everything in between. Either way, I hope everyone takes care of each other and gives their dear ones a big hug sometime today.  A hug never hurt anyone, unlike the A-bomb. 🙂