Posted in Life

What’s a Common Misconception People have about Happiness?

Daily writing prompt
What’s a common misconception people have about happiness?

I can’t speak realistically for all people, but a misconception that I have had in the past has been that if you are unhappy something must be wrong. The reason this is a misconception is that being happy isn’t a continuous feeling. It is a feeling that comes and goes. The only way to be happy all the time is to be on drugs which I wouldn’t recommend. In order to distinguish happiness from unhappiness there has to be a cessation, or a break from it. Otherwise it wouldn’t be happiness it would be just a normal, okay kind of feeling.

Happiness is the high points of our days which make all the other parts worthwhile. In order to truly enjoy and bask in happiness we have to know what it is to be unhappy. It is perfectly normal to not be happy all the time, to even be unhappy often. If you are unhappy most of the time, there may be something wrong. I think the highs and the lows should be moments in the day, most of the day should be safely ensconced in blahness or everyday medium emotions.

I think the reason people are drawn to music, movies and books is because we are wired to anticipate and prepare for drama in some form. If we didn’t have these highs and lows our lives would be lengthy routines in a purgatory like existence. No sadness, but no joy. We need variety.

They say variety is the spice of life. It really is. Varied experiences help break up monotony and routine. They save us from ourselves. But we must have a real break from happiness and unhappiness to learn and appreciate the ordinary life. We can’t function in constant turmoil. We need the calmness before and after the storm.

Happiness is a good goal to aim for, as long as you are aware that you can’t stay at the pinnacle of that mountain forever. You have to come down and appreciate all the other emotions.

The misconception that you can stay happy once you are happy is a big one. There are moments like when I got married that I thought that was it, happiness starts here and everything is just happily ever after. That just isn’t what happens. People change and grow and shift and have flaws that sometimes you can’t see right away. Sometimes these things seem like no big deal until they are.

I love that feeling of being blissfully happy. I treasure it when it happens knowing that it will dissipate like the fog. But I treasure it like a warm hug, like a reunion between long lost friends. I know it will come again and I will be ready for it when it happens knowing that it is a temporary state. It’s enough to experience it. It is worth all the other stuff that happens in between.

These gem like moments are really what we live for, what I live for. Life is a series of experiences, good bad and indifferent. I choose to focus on the good ones because it is just as easy as focusing on the bad ones. I think it is important to be present for your own life. To really experience the days and the moments. I am trying not to sleepwalk so much of my life. It is really the best movie there is, your own existence.

Posted in Uncategorized

What Experiences In Life Helped You Grow The Most?

The experiences that helped me grow the most were the times where I was forced to make a choice. Like when I had to leave that abusive relationship, I saw two pathways clearly, and knew I had to make a choice. When I was pregnant with my son, and I had to reach out and ask for help, something I hate doing. I don’t like being a burden, or being in a position of weakness at all, ever. So, that was difficult but I had to deal with the reality that I couldn’t do this alone.

I am a loner, I can belong to communities in games or online, but there is a safe distance there. Being with people is still hard for me. I have the utmost respect for people that find it easy to be around crowds. That has never been my thing. I have gotten better at not giving into panic. That is a conscious decision I have had to make many times.

To get where I need to be I need to be able to at least fake it until I make it. I have gotten better at promoting myself, now I just need to get the product out there. I am not looking for fame or money, although enough to not worry would be optimal, I am trying to put my ideas out there. That will be my legacy. And, my son who has a lot of potential, he is a special person who I believe will leave a legacy of his own.

Daily writing prompt
What experiences in life helped you grow the most?
Posted in Life

Good Times

So I have been blessed to have a week of paid time off, and alot of time to think about things and read bad advice online about love and life. Now, it is kinda mean to say it is bad advice. But the thing about any advice, is that it is bad if it isn’t tailored to the needs of the person on the receiving end. So, when you read stuff online you get contradictory answers and a lot of people wanting  you (Well, me in this case.) to shell out 40 plus bucks to learn their secrets. Secrets like how to be happy, and how to be successful, how to make a bunch of money, how to win and keep the love of your life, to do everything and anything from becoming closer to God, to finding out what you really want (okay, an ebook will tell you how to do that?? Is the author privy to your inner workings and thoughts, experiences? Didn’t think so. )

So that’s what I mean by bad advice, not that it will kill you, or that it means harm, but, it doesn’t really help you because while well meaning, it can’t be fully applied to your problem/situation. Except in a general sense. And, I have found alot of the “advice” are from writers like me, who are just putting out their opinions/thoughts on the subject and aren’t really anymore qualified and aren’t anymore informed than anyone else. I have found the way to learning for me, is the hard way. In other words, by making mistakes and stumbling around, and then learning okay, I won’t do THAT again.  You can’t read or research actual experience. You have to get out there and let it happen. So, that is what I think I will do. I will DO. Actions speak louder than words, and actions lead to results. Not thinking, not talking, not reading. Doing. Good old fashioned doing.

So…want to read my opinion on how to be happy? Lead a fulfilling life, filled with interesting people. Be interesting. If you find yourself boring, so will others. Do something you enjoy. Don’t talk about someday, what if, maybe, if the stars align at this moment in this year, as Nike says, JUST DO IT! Be happy. I read somewhere that happiness is a choice. ( I know, I read somewhere, didn’t I just say to not read….wait..are you reading this???) I am starting to believe, no, I am starting to know, this is the case.

You can choose to see what you don’t have, what you don’t like, people you don’t like. Or, you can choose to see what you do have, what you do enjoy, surround yourself with people you do like.  Life doesn’t have to be complicated. Sometimes I think the internet has overcomplicated things by allowing introverts like myself to remain introverted. It is hard to get out there, and I am still struggling with it, and the internet makes it so easy to sit back and let things pass you by. You can refresh facebook and read interesting links, or you can get out there and do things, that make it so you have something interesting TO link. Which would you rather do?