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How Do I Relax?

Posted on by jennrae

I can relax in a few different ways. Sometimes it is as simple as taking a nap, or reading a book. Also, taking a hot bath with scented candles and just closing my eyes and letting my mind forget about everything is good.

Meditation can be good for stress relief. It can be hard to shut down my thoughts and it can take a bit to get to a place where I can just be.

When I get there though, it is peaceful and I can just imagine myself laying on a beach listening to the surf come in and out, rhythmically matching my breathing. I can smell the salt in the air and feel the cool breeze from the gentle wind. I can almost hear the seagulls crying.

I have a vivid imagination, but for me that is the most peaceful place I can just exist. Another option is in a wooded clearing with a creek or a brook going by and hearing the water rushing about and the songbirds chirping in the trees. I can just listen to the sounds of nature, very soothing.

Being outside and at the park is good as well. I like anywhere where I won’t be bothered by lots of people. I am not the most sociable. I need a lot of alone time to just chill.

Another way to relax for me is to watch a movie and eat ice cream. Something that is fun but doesn’t require too much thinking if I am stressed. It depends on my mood what I will watch. Sometimes I will binge a tv show if I have a lot of time and don’t feel well.

Or binge it over time, an episode a day. Also, timed writes or just journaling my thoughts or doodling little sketches can be relaxing for me. Sometimes I just need to get the thoughts out and then things are good.

Spending time with the kitties is a good stress reliever too. There is nothing quite like the unconditional love of a pet. They accept you as you are right now, no questions asked. They love you and don’t get annoyed very often, or for very long anyway. And, mine seem to know when I am having a rotten day.

They just know to be sweeter than normal. Especially the older cat. She will let you hug her, and cry into her fur, and she will purr and let you do it. She would have been an amazing therapy cat if she wasn’t so scared of people she doesn’t know. She is like a living stuffed animal, she will let you pick her up and hold her and she loves attention. She is like a Ragdoll breed in temperament.

The other one, is nice when she wants something from you. A little bit more transactional with KitKat, but if I am having a terrible time, she seems to be a bit nicer too.

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What’s Your Favorite Time of Day?

Posted on by jennrae

My favorite time of day will depend on which day of the week. I like Saturday afternoons because I am done with work for sure and have the rest of the day to figure out what I would like to do.

I tend to do a lot of laundry and household stuff on Sunday and can’t stay up late because I work Monday morning, so on Sundays I like when I just get up and get that first cup of coffee. The rest of the day is still ahead and I feel well rested and am just enjoying that early sunshine and kitty cat love. They love to snuggle on Sundays because I never work on Sundays anymore.

The rest of the week my favorite time would be from 6pm to 9pm, I have gotten away from work and the uniform and have dealt with or am dealing with dinner. It is usually when I have time to watch a movie. I do most of the posting on the weekend, and most of my blog posts too. But the actually watching is done sporadically throughout the week.

Mondays are usually extra hectic for me because my son has some activities that he does. Although, the day is coming when he won’t need me to shuttle him around. He hardly does right now. So, I don’t mind.

There are times when my favorite time is the little bit of downtime as I am laying in bed going to sleep. Sometimes I will dream or think of how I would like things to be, sometimes I will try to just not think about anything at all. Just everything being quiet and still. It can be really peaceful no matter what has happened earlier.

Even lunchtime can be great because it isn’t much but I do get to see my son and the cats for a bit and get away from work. It is a nice break. I guess there isn’t one set time that is my favorite. Just time with my kitties and my son is my favorite time no matter where it lands during the day.

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Tell Us About the Last Thing You Got Excited About…

Posted on by jennrae

The first thing that comes to mind is the Spacehog show. I had wanted to see them since I was a teenager, so seeing them now was a better late than never experience. And, it did not disappoint. I truly felt like it was definitely a highlight. They put on a high energy show and hadn’t seemed to have aged a whole lot. It is more of an experience rather than a thing however.

There was this dress at Nordstrom’s in 2007 that was a sort of watercolor floral print that I fell in love with. But it was expensive. Expensive to me at least. Probably 200 to 300 dollars which is more than I have ever paid for an item of clothing by a long shot. Needless to say, I didn’t buy it although I wanted to.

Ever since whenever I am in a thrift store, I look for this dress. Every time. I have gotten close a few times, but it is never quite it. It is like true love, I seek it, and I get close but not quite. I still hope I will run into this dress randomly, at the right time in the right place. I have searched online for it. I have looked into the windows of shops. I have even tried to look at Nordstrom’s website. It is elusive, but it haunts me.

I live in such an isolated area that hoping something magical arrives here is unlikely, but I continue to hope because I am a hopeless romantic at heart. I cannot help it. It is a part of my fabric to dream of the impossible and wish it to become reality. I have done that since I was a child. It is what draws me to writing.

Another thing I was excited about was my novel. When I was writing it I was on air, and I just wanted to write constantly. I was obsessed and if I didn’t have to work and eat I would have probably not stopped. It was only after it was finished that I saw the flaws and problems with it. No one could or would continue to read it. It crushed me. It seemed so wonderful and perfect while I was doing it.

When the dust settled I realized it was a meandering behemoth which could not, would not be corralled or tamed. I could not get it to work. It was thrown in the closet to rot for years. I have only recently dusted it off again. And, oddly, I can see the charm of it again. I can also see the issues. But, there are some gemstones amidst the rubble. I can see a glint here and there of the beauty of it that I had forgotten.

As far as objects go, it has been a while since an item got me excited. Certain people can and do, but stuff is stuff. It is hard for me to get excited about stuff, but when I find a movie I have been searching for, or put together my new shelving unit, it is exciting for a moment in time. I recently acquired Memento, which I had been searching for.

I was excited about that. I had just started to give up hope and then it was there, staring back at me from the shelf at Goodwill. It was kind of like I won a prize. My persistence paid off. It was worth waiting for. I could have just bought it on Amazon. I almost did. It feels better to find it in the wild though. Something about the hunt can be exhilarating. Clicking a button just isn’t the same.

I am still waiting for that dress to turn up, and a certain someone to pop up. I like to think I will know when I find it, and it will be amazing. Life is good. It only gets better from here. I am feeling optimistic. Being patient is hard for me, but I am learning that sometimes that is what I have to do.

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What Do You Love About Where You Live?

Posted on by jennrae

The area I live is very beautiful and close to all kinds of nature. It is the lavender capital of North America, and has three festivals from March to July. August and September are amazing months and the fall is my favorite time of year. If you want to see the city, it isn’t too far away. It is a short drive to Seattle, even shorter to the mall in Silverdale.

There are a lot of bike paths as well and it is pretty walkable. It can be a bit boring for the young people, and house prices are getting kind of expensive around here.

I feel like I’m slowly being priced out of where I grew up because there are so many people here from California, and Portland, and Seattle. Prices have been climbing, even rental prices have went up quite a bit. But, I plan on staying as long as I can afford to. We have mountains, and lakes nearby, on either side of us, plus other towns like Port Angeles and Port Townsend that can be fun to visit. Mostly though, I really like the proximity to the wilderness. I like all the trees. I like all the lavender everywhere.

Do I sometimes wish there were more of a music scene or more things to do? Sure. But, in the end there is a pretty cool park that is free that I can draw or write in, and plenty of coffee shops to bring the laptop to get away from KitKat who is presently demanding that I go to bed, immediately.

It is peaceful for the most part and crime isn’t bad. We are kind of isolated, even by Washington State standards, off on the Olympic Peninsula. But I sort of like that. I like that you have to discover us or get off the beaten path to figure out we’re here. It is like a secret. You have to get a secret invitation or know someone who knows someone to find out about us.

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What is a Word That Too Many People Use?

Posted on by jennrae

There are a few words I can think of off the top of my head. The Word “like” being the obvious one. I hear a lot of people use it as a filler word the way some use the noise “umm” to fill in the space while they look for the word they actually want to use.

I have a lot of issues with “like” as a filler word. The obvious one is it annoys the crap out of me because the word no longer has any meaning, and if you actually are trying to use “like” to mean “like” it can get confusing because of how overused it is. The whole point of communication is to communicate, after all.

My other issue is that it makes the person automatically sound silly and like they are using “valley girl” speech, which is difficult to take seriously.

Some people think southern U.S. accents make people seem unintelligent. I personally don’t think so, I think they take their time, but that doesn’t signify unintelligence to me. Valley girl speech however, does sound unintelligent.

It sounds like you didn’t focus in school, don’t know many words, and that you may be a bit on the younger side. Although I have heard a 40 year old talk like this so this is a stereotype for sure.

So in addition to the overused “like” I have also noticed an uptick in the increasing use of the word “right.” Right is less obnoxious and less likely to cause me to judge you, but I have noticed it trending as a not quite filler word, so much as an “I agree with you so much” term.

For example I was training someone, a perfectly capable, intelligent, very nice person. So, I am not judging them for this, it is just the first example I can recall of this, but I am seeing it more and more in conversations.

Every time I would suggest or say anything, this person would say, “I know, right?” At first it was like, okay, it is a phrase. That’s fine. But it kept happening. Over three days, I would hear, “I know, Right.” Or sometimes, just ‘Right?” Implying, I know, right? And, now I can’t unhear it. Especially at work, I heard it the other day, and it sticks out to me.

It isn’t as overused as “like.” But, it is trending up. I feel like for me it sticks out especially. It is a phrase designed to inspire camaraderie, or agreement. It isn’t bad per se. Just being the way I am, I like to vary my speech a bit. I don’t want to get stuck using the same phrase over and over.

My mind tends to get suspicious of people being nice or kind, and I tend to then think why is this person telegraphing so hard that they are on my side? Why are they agreeing so much? Are they just that agreeable or are they not really listening?

It does seem kind of an autopilot type of phrase, something one might add when they don’t have an opinion or don’t know what to say. It is ultimately harmless. And I feel weird complaining about a phrase that inspires people to agree with one another, and not argue. It seems wholesome.

I guess I am suspicious of those that agree without asking follow up questions. I also am reluctant to fall into a catchphrase type of trap because I like diversity in my words. It seems like it would be easy to fall into this one because it is so agreeable and harmless.

Posted in Life, Writing

What Brings You Peace?

Posted on by jennrae

I am thinking peace of mind. I do not have the power to enact peace on earth, and I have too much peace and quiet these days to want more of that. Sometimes reading a good book, or even a nice nap will bring me momentary peace. Meditation can do wonders as well. Sometimes music can bring me peace.

Lavender oil is very calming and peaceful. I have a ceramic stone I will put drops on for the cats if I know someone is coming over or something major is going on. Fireworks were particularly stressful recently for them.

Sometimes day dreaming can be soothing if I am able to do it, and can bring me peace. Or writing; it can be peaceful. Sometimes the timed writings where you don’t stop and think and correct things are the best for that because there is no pressure to fix anything. It just is.

I feel like I need some more internal peace. I get stressed over financial things easily and tend to want to put my head in the sand even though I know that isn’t helpful or even good idea.

Sometimes a good hearty meal or time with family or loved ones can bring me peace of mind. Just knowing there are people that care about you and think about you can be an amazing feeling. It is easy to overlook or forget this.

It is easy to take people for granted for always being there, until one day they aren’t. And then I am plagued with questions like why didn’t I visit more, or why did I let the minutiae of life get in the way of telling or showing someone I care? And now it is too late. I put off visiting and now I’ll never get to.

How many dear friends have I allowed to drift away because I just stopped reaching out? One is too many, and I have a terrible habit of getting lost in the grind. And, then when I need a shoulder to cry on, everyone has moved on and the dust has settled on all the memories and all I have left is peace and quiet. The kind of peace that I do not need more of.

Posted in Life, Writing

Describe One Habit That Brings You Joy

Posted on by jennrae

The obvious answer would be writing, but if that were true I would have a lot more done. I have a love hate thing with writing. While I am doing it in the moment it is the best feeling in the world. Getting me there is like the most difficult thing.

Once I am doing it, I am great, but getting there is difficult. I can’t explain why this is, it just is. I will put it off, and distract myself with a million other things all the while knowing I would feel better if I did some writing today. Even a timed write can brighten my mood. So, I don’t understand my reluctance or resistance that I feel before actually sitting down and writing.

I suppose it is related to my feelings of inadequacy. That my writing is terrible, or that the environment isn’t set up just so, or the mood is a little off. Or I just am not feeling what I am currently writing. I will find a way to make it not work or not worthwhile.

But if I can get sucked into the moment, then it is pure bliss. If I can get in the rhythm then there really is nothing else like it. When I am typing or writing it all seems inspired by the muses. It is only when I go back and look at it that I am like this is all nonsense crapola.

I have suffered from the perfectionist curse all my life, of nothing being good enough, so I just can’t do it at all. It is something I am fighting with still. On one level I know it is ridiculous and stupid. Doing anything is better than nothing. A half good project is better than a blank page. But, my brain isn’t run on pure logic. I am not an AI. So, the fact that I know this, but am still stuck by it, is part of the human experience that is being me.

Writing does bring me joy, so does listening to music, and driving my car with the window rolled down and feeling the wind blow my hair. Even if it is just for a moment before it gets annoying having my hair in my face. Little moments bring me joy all the time. When someone notices that I try to do my best or takes the time to complement my work even if it is mundane and boring. I do try to put thought and care into everything I do.

It is rare but sometimes people notice. Sometimes just going for a walk on a nice day enjoying the sunshine is enough to bring me joy, or having a conversation after watching a movie.

Sometimes just waking up in the morning and stretching and feeling all warm and cozy. Before you have to actually get up, that brief moment where things just seem fine and nothing has happened yet and you haven’t yet looked at the news on your phone. Just that warm feeling of waking up in a warm bed. I love that feeling.

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If You Could Bring Back A Dinosaur…Which One Would it Be?

Posted on by jennrae

Too bad this prompt is limited to dinosaurs when there are so many extinct species that aren’t dinosaurs that I find more interesting. Most dinosaurs are too dangerous or too massive to feed on a regular basis to make a resurrection a good idea.

Jurassic Park has been done a few times and I think only a fool would resurrect most of those. Even the passive ones would require a huge habitat and an enormous amount of food. It would make an elephant’s upkeep seem positively budget friendly. And the carnivorous ones, well, that would just be plain stupid.

So, if I had to pick a dinosaur, maybe the ancestor of the birds, Archeopteryx. It is smallish, birdlike and could give us some insight into how early birds may have looked, and could be maintained easily, and be non threatening if it were to get violent or escape.

Now, if we open things up to more than dinosaurs, I have always had a fascination with the Tasmanian Tiger. And, let’s face it, we are responsible for their destruction. It would be great to resurrect at least a few so we can learn about them, and see them. I do not know if we should reintroduce extinct species to the wild, because nature finds a way to replace things.

We would have to get rid of the dingo to put the Tasmanian Tiger there. There isn’t room for both predators. It gets complicated after that. I know there are people including a certain director, Peter Jackson, that want to bring back the New Zealand Moa. That might be doable, I can’t say since it had a specific area and I think people were also the ruin of them. The question is, how can we create enough specimens to have a diverse gene pool so they don’t end up just dying out again?

Should we be doing this ethically? Does this open other doors that should perhaps remain shut? I just don’t know where this leads, but we are certainly cursed with living in very interesting times indeed.

Posted in Life, Writing

What Are Your Daily Habits?

Posted on by jennrae

Well, there are the boring ones, getting out of bed, brushing my teeth, brewing a pot of coffee if I have the day off. If I work I just use a Keurig pod and take a cup to go. I started taking a liquid vitamin to see if it helps with my hair. It appears to be working. My hair is amazing today. Of course, I brush my hair. I use a Waterpik flosser on my teeth.

I sometimes shower in the morning but I am more likely to shower in the evening before bed. I have to feed my Cat KitKat treats in her Kong ball before I go to work. She looks like a tiny kitten but is actually five years old. I feed them a can of meat around lunchtime which for me is eleven-ish most of the time, unless I am working out of town, in which case I can’t go home for lunch.

I also feed them a can of meat in the evening around 7pm. I usually make a sandwich for my lunch and brew another cup of coffee if I am going to work.

In the evening I either cook dinner or get something quick depending on the situation. Mondays are especially hectic, as my son is still in Scouts, and he sometimes has other commitments to his band, or football or now his own work since he is old enough.

Brush and floss teeth before bed, after a shower, brush my hair again. I brush my hair around lunch time too before going back to work, it can get frizzy, especially if it is humid.

At least once a week I go for a walk. Typically I go to the gym Tuesday through Friday for about an hour. I sometimes skip Friday. I’d say, I go Fri only half the time if I am being honest.

I also try to put moisturizer on my face in the morning, I have pm stuff I use if I shower at night. I try to post a video or post a blog at least once a day, although I have been failing the poor blog.

I want to get back to writing daily but I haven’t been the best at that. Working out of town threw my routine off and It is hard to get back to it.

I usually watch something in the evening that I end up recording a video on. Definitely on the weekends. I need to schedule something fun, or different.

I have plans to rearrange my room to make it feel more cozy. If I have a good place to write I think I would write more. If I am being honest, I probably read garbage on my phone way too much. If I wasted less time, I could get a lot more done.

Daily writing prompt
What are your daily habits?
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Posted in Fiction, Life, Writing

List 3 Books That Have Had An Impact On You..Why?

Posted on by jennrae

To choose only three makes this a challenge. I would probably have to go with The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis for the first one. A teacher read it aloud to us in the fifth grade I believe and I think it was the first fantasy book I was exposed to unless you count television where I had seen cartoons of The Hobbit and The Last Unicorn. And a cartoon of The Swan Princess that made me fall in love with Tchaikovsky. I haven’t been able to find this cartoon, there is a newer version that isn’t it, but this one had a haunting melody of Swan Lake, which also reminds me of The Last Unicorn, it wouldn’t surprise me if my mind didn’t combine the two to create a cartoon that never existed, because my memories as a child were very fluid and were rarely accurate. I seemed to live in a fantasy most of the time so telling what was real and what wasn’t is hard for me.

The second book would have to be Dragonriders of Pern my Anne McCaffery. I got it in the library when I ran out of Margaret Henry horse books to read, I loved Misty of Chincoteague, so that would have been my first foray into science fiction. Following that I would go on to discover Andre Norton and Ursula K LeGuin, and eventually, Jack Vance and a whole bunch of amazing writers.

The third book I am going to go with Les Miserables by Victor Hugo, because it made me feel like I could read anything, it was the unabridged edition. It was a very thick volume, and ignited a love for classical literature and a fortitude to read to the end no matter the size of the book. It also taught me what not to do, because there are spots where it is difficult for a modern reader, and I know what doesn’t work and what does. Even great writers can make mistakes.

This was a tough call, because a lot of books have influenced me greatly. Jack Vance’s Lyonesse, George RR Martin’s A Game of Thrones, Ursula K LeGuin’s The Left Hand of Darkness, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, Bram Stoker’s Dracula, which I read also in the fifth grade and did a book report on, Sir Thomas Mallory’s Le Morte D’Arthur, my love for Arthurian legends, and Roger Zelazny’s Chronicles of Amber. Cj Cherryh’s Cyteen. And many, many more. I could keep going.

I used to peruse thrift stores for old sci-fi fantasy books, anything with Del Rey, or Ballantine, or DAW, or Fawcett, or Tor. I had old editions of the Lord of the Rings from the 60s, a copy of 1984 from the 50s and Dune by Frank Herbert from the 70s. All of these are gone because I couldn’t go through my books when I moved and had to get rid of them in a hurry.

I still have my 60s copy of the Silmarillion because it was in my purse at the time. But that is it. I feel the loss everyday, wish I could have planned more and panicked less. But the past is the past, and I have the memories and can find the stories easily enough.

Daily writing prompt
List three books that have had an impact on you. Why?
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