I grew up in a household that leaned Republican. They wouldn’t just vote Republican, but basically that was the default setting. If in doubt, vote that way. In my twenties I got into Ayn Rand and identified as Libertarian.
I believed with all my fervor that you could make your own way by willpower and talent. I knew I was smart, and while not a supermodel, I was decent looking, maybe even considered cute.
I found the longer I held these views and read these novels the more arrogant I became. Where if someone had little to no ambition I would treat them as less than. It contributed to my divorce as my husband at the time’s dream was to be a barista. Not a very high bar and he was content at that.
Although that was not the only problems we had. I think I liked the story of reconnecting with a love I had in high school more than the reality of married life. Plus, he was always looking for other partners and couldn’t be content with one woman anyhow.
His jealousy of my cat, Ralph Fiennes, a mere celebrity crush, and my fictional characters in my novel who are not real, were also serious problems.
I had as much to blame though. Perhaps more so. Because I wanted to be the chill cool understanding wife, I agreed and went along with things that I really wasn’t comfortable with. I was immature and fickle. I was still young enough that flattery and interest in my looks was enough to get me wondering if this was what I wanted.
I have plenty of regrets on how I handled things. Even more regrets on how I handled later things. I was physically mature, but mentally all over the place. But the arrogance from my libertarian training made me kind of judgmental and insufferable to be around.
I used to laugh at people I termed pseudointellectuals, yet my pathway was not so different from theirs’s. I assumed I knew the true way, I assumed I knew everything, and I assumed everyone else just didn’t get it. I was a hipster of sorts, of something that wasn’t hip at all.
I became disillusioned with all that in my thirties, after making mistakes that proved I was far from perfect, and being a single mom that had to use food stamps to survive. I had to swallow my pride and admit safety nets weren’t just for the weak, but also for those who were struggling. Yes, sometimes it was because of poor choices, but making choices is part of what makes us human. We try and we fail, and we get back up.
We are not just talented and untalented, but human with human failings and human screw ups. Having something there to help our fellow man is not weak. There is nothing out there that states our society must be a Darwinian dog eat dog world where if you fall you deserve to perish. Even in my most Libertarian mode I think I would have been disturbed by people starving in the streets.
Christianity would say it is our duty to help out our fellow man. That is part of our job on this earth to help each other survive. It is a strength not a weakness.
My family is even more Republican now, pretty much programmed to see everyone else as the enemy. This is sad for me to see because critical thinking still has me question everything I hear and see. And we are all just people going about our lives.
There aren’t heroes and villains but just people. Democrats aren’t the enemy or the deep state or anything like that. They are people that listen to different news stations and read different articles. I believe the algorithm is the real enemy. Creating a huge divide instead of bringing people together.
I consider myself independent. Neither Republican or Democrat. Not Libertarian either. I am just me, and I think and I research things as they come to me. I try not to judge others. I try to see things from their perspective. I take things as they come, and I wish and pray for a better day where we can just all be human again.
The Infamous Jennisfora Strikes Again...or something like that 