Author: jennrae

Singe mom, part time writer of primarily sci-fi and fantasy. Also, a hopeless romantic that is into classic cinema and grunge/nineties music. Part time optimist, part time cynic Twitter is Jennisfora Rae.
Posted in Fiction, Life, Writing

What Job Would I Do For Free?

Posted on by jennrae

Well, I think writing I do do for free, but do I consider it a job? It is more of a past time at the moment, if something becomes a job it tends not to be fun anymore. In my experience anyhow. I am also a wannabee film critic for free. It is also not a job but something I do for fun. Technically, it costs me money because I will buy a DVD just to have the ability to compare it to another.

I suppose I do both of these for free, or at a cost because I pay for the website. The hope is someday I will get my act together and publish something and I will have a promotion network set up for it, and it will pay for itself. I am not looking to get rich, I just want to do something I enjoy and am passionate about. Movies and books are just two of the more obvious things.

It is a beautiful day here today, and I am writing from a coffee shop just to get out of the house and out of my own head a bit. I need a break from myself.

I am going to see Metropolis later and am excited to do that in a room of other like minded people. I will record a video on that experience later. I am behind uploading them. I have a ton of videos that need to live somewhere.

I have been putting them on twitter just because I have a bigger audience on there and they seem to upload faster. But I am getting disenchanted with the site lately. It is hard to get into social media after the program limits your reach and flags you for being a bot.

Plus, Elon is a constant presence there, and you can’t ignore him either. So, that has made me seriously consider Youtube. But I am such an amateur compared to the people on there. Not sure I can compete there, and I hate starting over from scratch. That is the quandary folks. Start over, or dig in. Not sure what the best option is. I suppose I could do both.

Daily writing prompt
What job would you do for free?
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Posted in Life, Writing

You’re Writing Your Autobiography. What’s Your Opening Sentence?

Posted on by jennrae

I enjoyed looking at the glass and all the little plastic bubbles with tiny toys inside. Some were stickers, some those sticky hands that came in fluorescent colors, and some were tiny erasers. I knew they needed a coin to insert in order to get one of the bubbles. But, I wasn’t sure how to ask for a coin, or whether it was a good idea to ask for one. I studied all the different little things, thinking about asking my Mom for a quarter.

And then, I looked around, and my Mom, the shopping cart, and my brothers were gone. I was alone. By the front door of the store. I felt myself panic a little. I was scared. But I wasn’t scared of being alone.

I was scared I would be in big trouble. I knew I couldn’t ask for a quarter now. She would be mad at me. I did something wrong. I looked at the bubbles and somehow everyone disappeared. It would be only later that I would realize that I remembered it differently.

My mom tells it that I ran off in the store, of course, she was upset, and panicked and wouldn’t let anyone leave until I was found. Some old man brought me to the register, and I didn’t say a word.

I remember just getting distracted and staying by the entrance. It was my family that wandered off from me, leaving me behind. I do not know what really happened.

Unfortunately, I liked to tell tall tales and my relationship with reality was sketchy at best back then. I also told everyone I lived in the White House. My house was white, so to me it was true.

I thought if I said something, I could make it happen. I also thought I could understand animals. Ants especially. Ants were my friends and cabbage moths. I even didn’t mind spiders. I would learn to fear them later like so many other things.

Daily writing prompt
You’re writing your autobiography. What’s your opening sentence?
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Posted in Uncategorized

What Experiences In Life Helped You Grow The Most?

Posted on by jennrae

The experiences that helped me grow the most were the times where I was forced to make a choice. Like when I had to leave that abusive relationship, I saw two pathways clearly, and knew I had to make a choice. When I was pregnant with my son, and I had to reach out and ask for help, something I hate doing. I don’t like being a burden, or being in a position of weakness at all, ever. So, that was difficult but I had to deal with the reality that I couldn’t do this alone.

I am a loner, I can belong to communities in games or online, but there is a safe distance there. Being with people is still hard for me. I have the utmost respect for people that find it easy to be around crowds. That has never been my thing. I have gotten better at not giving into panic. That is a conscious decision I have had to make many times.

To get where I need to be I need to be able to at least fake it until I make it. I have gotten better at promoting myself, now I just need to get the product out there. I am not looking for fame or money, although enough to not worry would be optimal, I am trying to put my ideas out there. That will be my legacy. And, my son who has a lot of potential, he is a special person who I believe will leave a legacy of his own.

Daily writing prompt
What experiences in life helped you grow the most?
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Posted in Life, Writing

Do You Believe In Destiny Or Fate?

Posted on by jennrae

I went from not really thinking about it at all, to being cynical and jaded and thinking “Is this All There is?”, back to thinking yes, there is something behind it all after all. Currently, yes, I do believe in fate or destiny. I think things happen for a reason even if we don’t understand that reason, and there does seem to be a point to it all. There have been times where I thought I should be dead now, but something intervened, somehow it wasn’t my time.

If you had told me I would still be here in my mid forties to me in my twenties, I wouldn’t have believed you. I thought I would die young, not sure how, or why, but I just didn’t feel like I belonged in this world. I never felt like I fit into any particular mold. I had trouble relating to people or making close friendships. I had trust issues that have only gotten worse.

So, why would I believe in destiny or fate now? If you asked me a few months ago I probably would have told you I don’t. But, sometimes things, or dominoes fall a certain way and change your view or thought process. And, that happened to me in November. I can’t fully explain it, not without sounding insane, but I will say, much like the butterfly effect, little things lead to bigger things, and alter one’s life path. However much I try to choose or do down a different path, I am always brought back to a certain place. I do not know the future. But, I do know what I should be doing.

There is a reason I say I am a writer, and not a published author. I am not a published author, although I would like to be someday. The good thing about that is it is a pathway that isn’t limited by age or looks, but ideas. I have ideas, I just need to follow through and put them down. I do believe I have a destiny, and I do believe there is a point to all this. I don’t claim to know it, or understand it, but I know it is there. I know where my path is supposed to lead if I can get out of my own way.

Posted in Life

What Advice Would You Give To Your Teenage Self?

Posted on by jennrae

I would probably tell myself that things will get better. That it isn’t the end of the world when a relationship doesn’t work out, that none of these guys are the “one.” Also to enjoy life, and that when you make a mistake it just takes you on a detour.

It isn’t necessarily a bad thing, just an alternate sometimes longer or more difficult route that may end up in a similar destination. Our experiences are what makes us, us. And I wouldn’t waste too much time trying to convince myself on making better choices.

Maybe just help myself understand how to navigate things and how better to pick myself up. Your parents try to show you the way and tell you what you should do. Most teenagers do not listen to parents or teachers.

I think it is more important to give them the tools to make the decisions themselves and figure it out, because the one person they will listen to is themselves or their friends. The one factor that you can steer or control is your own mind, and that would be where any advice that is actually implemented would come from.

I wasn’t the type to just go along with what other’s said anyhow, friends or not. I was more likely to listen to my friends than others, but my actions were always my own, for good or bad. I would go my own way.

Do I have regrets? Yes, of course. Would any advice have made a difference? Probably not. Whatever will be, will be. Or to quote Lost, “whatever happened, happened.”

So, I have made peace with my past, the ugly parts, the petty parts, and the downright stupid parts. I am glad I am hear to continue my story, and relatively unscathed at that. So, I consider myself pretty lucky overall.

Daily writing prompt
What advice would you give to your teenage self?
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Posted in Life

What Is Your Favorite Drink?

Posted on by jennrae

My favorite drink would have to be coffee. I do not drink much alcohol. Not in many years anyhow. I like most beverages, but I am not super into soda either. Although I do enjoy an occasional Dr. Pepper. If I can’t get Dr. Pepper I will drink Mr. Pibb or Cherry coke.

Mostly though, coffee with some creamer. I like an occasional latte or mocha, but I try not to get them all the time just because of the cost. It is like dessert coffee. I usually have no whipped cream just to cut down on the sugar. I also like smoothies. I never got used to beer, but most beverages I enjoy occasionally. I should drink more water than I do. Maybe I will set a goal for that. I do drink a water bottle at the gym, but that isn’t that much for the entire day.

Daily writing prompt
What is your favorite drink?
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Posted in Life

My Favorite Pair of Shoes and Where They Have Taken Me

Posted on by jennrae

My all time favorite pair of shoes would probably be a pair of sketchers I had a few years back. They had a light blue green stripe. Eventually they wore out just from use and time, but I walked everywhere in them. I was sad when I had to throw them out.

Currently, I have a few pairs I wear. I have work shoes which are Florsheim, and they are tough. They last a couple years or more. But I wear them to work and back, and then I have my workout shoes I wear to the gym. They have more shock absorption. They are still pretty new, so time will tell on how long they will last.

And, then there are my free time shoes, which the main one is a pair of polka dot flats. I have some boots and some heels as well, but I wear them only on the rare occasions I am going out somewhere or trying to achieve a specific look.

Out of the three pairs I wear on a regular basis, the workout shoes are my current favorite because my son bought them for me for Christmas because my feet hurt. He figured out my work shoes weren’t good for that and he notices little details like that. He has a good heart. But, they are my favorite mostly for that reason.

I wear them to the gym and at the gym mostly, but I will occasionally wear them to the store if I am going out for a quick trip. I try to use my polka dot shoes for walks and random things when I am not working though. If nothing else so the other shoes last a little bit longer.

I used to have some nice hiking boots that I used for winter and excursions, but my feet have gotten wider, or they just don’t fit the same. I got a pair of waterproof winter boots but it doesn’t look like I’ll need them this year. Things seem to be warming up where I am at.

I go for a long walk at least once a week, possibly more. If It is close enough where I don’t need a car and the weather cooperates, then I will walk. It helps me think and the fresh air does me good. It has a way of resetting my mind. I can get stuck on things or moods and sometimes a good walk can get me out of a rut. I find walking therapeutic and kind of necessary.

Daily writing prompt
Tell us about your favorite pair of shoes, and where they’ve taken you.
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Posted in Life

Are You Patriotic? What Does Being Patriotic Mean to You?

Posted on by jennrae

Do I consider myself patriotic? Well, let’s define patriotism first I suppose. I see patriotism as having a love of one’s country, native country, adopted country, or you can even be patriotic to a region. I happen to live in the Pacific Northwest part of the US. I am a Washingtonian. Do I agree with everything my state does? Or everything the US does? No.

As an individual I have personal opinions, and ideas of what is good and what is not. I don’t neatly align with any political party. Even if I could be put into one bin per se, would I agree with an agenda wholeheartedly? I highly doubt it. I am a bit of a cynic, and I am also a bit contrarian. So, I don’t and won’t fit neatly into a category, and I am more than okay with that.

If something terrible, like a sept. 11th incident were to happen right now in my country, I would be very upset and distraught. If my state were to slide into the ocean tomorrow, I would be very upset and obviously troubled by it. Do I love the US? I do like the idea. As a reality, it falls short, but the possibility and promise are there. I don’t wish I was born elsewhere, there isn’t another country where I would rather be from. I don’t have any desire to be Canadian, although I met someone in the past whose dream was that, it isn’t mine.

Do I love my country? Sometimes. I love what it stands for, I love the idea of the American Dream, I love the idea of the possibilities. Intellectual freedom, the ability if you try hard enough if you do enough, you can get where you want to be. Is the dream real, though? I am not naive to think it is the same for everyone.

If English isn’t your native tongue, or if you grow up in an impoverished or educationally dismal area, the dream is a bit harder to obtain. Not impossible, but difficult. Some are born with a leg up and don’t have to work as hard. The US, much like life, isn’t fair, and not everyone has an equal opportunity. For those with what is oftentimes called grit or fortitude, it is there. You do have to want it, you do have to work hard for it.

I want to believe it is still possible to achieve, but I think everyday it gets harder and harder. The disparity between those with money gets wider and farther, and the bigger the gap the more of a dream the American Dream becomes. I know this is happening around the world, not just in the US.

But the US is a country that has always promised a chance to succeed where one could go to start over or start again. So, it is especially sad to see this country get so divided.

Am I patriotic? I guess I am, I am in love with the dream, the promise of the US. Am I in love with the reality? I want to be, somedays I believe more than others.

It is like an old crush you once thought you couldn’t live without, but now you are okay. You wonder what happened to them, if they are happy with their life, if they did anything momentous or important?

If they didn’t, are they happy anyway, did they find their true love, or some passion worth living and fighting for? I guess a more accurate answer to a complicated question is, sometimes. I am sometimes patriotic. Sometimes I wish things were different, sometimes I wish we could rediscover a middle ground where politics weren’t such a toxic subject matter.

Daily writing prompt
Are you patriotic? What does being patriotic mean to you?
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Posted in Life

What’s Your Favorite Thing To Cook?

Posted on by jennrae

I probably enjoy cooking eggs the most, scrambled or like an omelet. Or over easy. It is a fun challenge to not break the yolk. You can add whatever you feel like to it, like peppers or mushrooms and of course tons of cheese. I like to eat it with salsa and sour cream too. Jalapenos, just add those to everything. It is like a kitchen sink food, there isn’t a right or wrong way to make it.

I also like to make enchiladas and Huevos Rancheros, I guess I like Mexican food, especially the Tex-Mex versions. I like Italian food as well, but I admit that I cheat and buy the sauce. Maybe I will try my hand at a home made sauce someday.

I’m trying to live a little; be more adventurous. Wasted too much time playing it safe and I feel like I haven’t really lived much. Never too late though to start. I guess I do prefer winging it, and grabbing whatever I happen to have laying around to throw into things as far as cooking goes.

Recipes are good occasionally, they help when I feel like I am doing something new, but I like experimenting a bit, straying from the set path and discovering something new. New can be scary, but it also can be exciting. I will even randomly throw chipotle seasoning or chili seasoning in stuff, because why not?

Daily writing prompt
What’s your favorite thing to cook?
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Posted in Uncategorized

What Books Do You Want To Read?

Posted on by jennrae

I am in the middle of so many books right now, but I want to re read several books I used to own: Dracula, Frankenstein, Dune. I started the Death of Bunny Munro by Nick Cave, but I got distracted by other things and haven’t gotten back to it yet. I do want to finish reading soonish because I hear they may be making a movie of it.

I would like to read some aspiring writer’s work, I feel like I should help promote the indie writers more than I do currently. But I am unsure where to go, I see them advertised on twitter, but there are so many and I will have to choose some so I can maybe leave a review. Get some goodwill in the writing community. In theory someday I might actually take the plunge and try to publish something and it would be nice to be involved in the writing community and get the support, which of course, I should be giving in kind.

So, I will try. I will go on there today and try and pick some books that intrigue me. I prefer science fiction and fantasy, but I also like literature, historical fiction, and a good mystery suspense novel of course. Not into romance, but you never know, maybe I just haven’t read the right story.

If you have any recommendations, I am all ears, or typewritten clicks I suppose.

Daily writing prompt
What books do you want to read?
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