The first thing that comes to mind is the Spacehog show. I had wanted to see them since I was a teenager, so seeing them now was a better late than never experience. And, it did not disappoint. I truly felt like it was definitely a highlight. They put on a high energy show and hadn’t seemed to have aged a whole lot. It is more of an experience rather than a thing however.
There was this dress at Nordstrom’s in 2007 that was a sort of watercolor floral print that I fell in love with. But it was expensive. Expensive to me at least. Probably 200 to 300 dollars which is more than I have ever paid for an item of clothing by a long shot. Needless to say, I didn’t buy it although I wanted to.
Ever since whenever I am in a thrift store, I look for this dress. Every time. I have gotten close a few times, but it is never quite it. It is like true love, I seek it, and I get close but not quite. I still hope I will run into this dress randomly, at the right time in the right place. I have searched online for it. I have looked into the windows of shops. I have even tried to look at Nordstrom’s website. It is elusive, but it haunts me.
I live in such an isolated area that hoping something magical arrives here is unlikely, but I continue to hope because I am a hopeless romantic at heart. I cannot help it. It is a part of my fabric to dream of the impossible and wish it to become reality. I have done that since I was a child. It is what draws me to writing.
Another thing I was excited about was my novel. When I was writing it I was on air, and I just wanted to write constantly. I was obsessed and if I didn’t have to work and eat I would have probably not stopped. It was only after it was finished that I saw the flaws and problems with it. No one could or would continue to read it. It crushed me. It seemed so wonderful and perfect while I was doing it.
When the dust settled I realized it was a meandering behemoth which could not, would not be corralled or tamed. I could not get it to work. It was thrown in the closet to rot for years. I have only recently dusted it off again. And, oddly, I can see the charm of it again. I can also see the issues. But, there are some gemstones amidst the rubble. I can see a glint here and there of the beauty of it that I had forgotten.
As far as objects go, it has been a while since an item got me excited. Certain people can and do, but stuff is stuff. It is hard for me to get excited about stuff, but when I find a movie I have been searching for, or put together my new shelving unit, it is exciting for a moment in time. I recently acquired Memento, which I had been searching for.
I was excited about that. I had just started to give up hope and then it was there, staring back at me from the shelf at Goodwill. It was kind of like I won a prize. My persistence paid off. It was worth waiting for. I could have just bought it on Amazon. I almost did. It feels better to find it in the wild though. Something about the hunt can be exhilarating. Clicking a button just isn’t the same.
I am still waiting for that dress to turn up, and a certain someone to pop up. I like to think I will know when I find it, and it will be amazing. Life is good. It only gets better from here. I am feeling optimistic. Being patient is hard for me, but I am learning that sometimes that is what I have to do.